Tag Archives: rat bastards

A polite decline

23 Aug

God bless Facebook, I love almost everything about it.  I can bore people with my mundane updates, stalk ex-boyfriends, keep tabs on new girlfriends of ex-boyfriends, judge others, kill time, remind people of my birthday, etc.  Those face pages are just wonderful.  And of course there is a down side: zero interest in knowing how many gems someone got in the latest stupid game, and I’m over watching the ALS ice water challenge (I get it.  Good cause.  Over it.  Awareness raised.  Let’s move on.), I don’t want to see shitty pictures of the bland meal you ate either, and a special fuck you to people who only share articles/videos.  Fuck you.  For reals.

Never know how to handle invites from people who I don’t care for.  Most of the time I want to reject them, but feel obligated to accept if I work with them.  Such is the case for this one extremely bitter complainer at work.  I accepted her invite, spent two months hating every post she made, and so decided to hide her.  Joy in my life immediately went up.

This morning she sent me an invitation to a jewelry party she’s having.  The thought of having to spend time outside of work (and not getting paid for it) is painful.  Am debating how to respond to the invite while not damaging the work relationship.

How about this for the RSVP: Thank you for the invitation, but I’d rather:

  • Throw myself out the nearest window
  • Blow a dead elephant
  • Drink hot acid
  • Slam my hand in the door

Yes?  No?  Other thoughts?

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Meeting? What meeting?

19 Aug

You know who should be punched in the mouth?  People who schedule 5:00 PM meetings on a Tuesday afternoon.  People who make you drive to an entirely different location so you can meet them, and then cancel the meeting 10 minutes after you have arrived only they’ve neglected to tell you or the three other people who have shown up to the meeting.  In fact, they decide to only tell one person that instead they’ll push it back to September.

Such people should be punched in their mouths.

Fuck you, I say.  Fuck you in your stupid face.

On the bright side, this was the first meeting in my new capacity and I had zero fucking clue what I was doing.  Met a few new dudes, one of them who has been immediately added to the secret boyfriend list, the other who is very funny and is now telling people I’ve served a small prison sentence.  Good times, good times.

But still, fuck that other person in her stupid face.