Tag Archives: ranting and raving

A polite decline

23 Aug

God bless Facebook, I love almost everything about it.  I can bore people with my mundane updates, stalk ex-boyfriends, keep tabs on new girlfriends of ex-boyfriends, judge others, kill time, remind people of my birthday, etc.  Those face pages are just wonderful.  And of course there is a down side: zero interest in knowing how many gems someone got in the latest stupid game, and I’m over watching the ALS ice water challenge (I get it.  Good cause.  Over it.  Awareness raised.  Let’s move on.), I don’t want to see shitty pictures of the bland meal you ate either, and a special fuck you to people who only share articles/videos.  Fuck you.  For reals.

Never know how to handle invites from people who I don’t care for.  Most of the time I want to reject them, but feel obligated to accept if I work with them.  Such is the case for this one extremely bitter complainer at work.  I accepted her invite, spent two months hating every post she made, and so decided to hide her.  Joy in my life immediately went up.

This morning she sent me an invitation to a jewelry party she’s having.  The thought of having to spend time outside of work (and not getting paid for it) is painful.  Am debating how to respond to the invite while not damaging the work relationship.

How about this for the RSVP: Thank you for the invitation, but I’d rather:

  • Throw myself out the nearest window
  • Blow a dead elephant
  • Drink hot acid
  • Slam my hand in the door

Yes?  No?  Other thoughts?

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Time I’ll Never Get Back

8 Jun

An hour and a fucking half. That’s how long I was on the phone with my mother trying to solidify our fucking vacation plans this summer. We’re taking a family trip to Kiawah Beach, SC. The big question: what’s the best way to get down there with a toddler and an infant. I spent 90 minutes of my life answering (repeatedly) the following questions:

What if 2 of us drive and 2 of us take the train with the kids?
What if 2 of us drive and 2 of us fly with the kids?
What if 2 of us drive and 2 of us take the train down and then fly back with the kids?
What if 2 of us drive and 2 of fly down and take the train back with the fucking kids?
Should we all fucking drive down and stop 1/2 way at some shitty ass hotel so the kids don’t go bonkers in the fucking car?
How much are the plane tickets?
How much are the train tickets?
What if we go business class?
What if we buy one way tickets?
How much were the plane tickets again?
How much would it cost if we take coach class on the train and then fly back?

Here’s an important newsflash to my mother: I’m not a travel agent. Oh, and I have “work” to do. You have a computer at home-learn how to use it and make some of the god damned plans!!

Our resolution after all of this time “planning”? I’m glad you asked. 2 of us will be driving down on Friday with the kids and stopping half way while the other 2 leave on Saturday. We’ll all meet up in SC on Saturday. Somehow, I got picked as one of the 2 that’s going to be trapped in a car for 10 hours with the kids. How did that happen??