Tag Archives: online dating

Distractions

3 Mar

Fact: best way to distract yourself from one guy is with another.

Meeting Civil Servant at 1:00. Have I mentioned lately he’s 12 years younger than I am?

Why limit the distractions to just one guy? Heading out for another date tonight.  Not a booty call this time.  An actual date.  We’re going for drinks and then for bowling or indoor mini golf.  He’s really funny, like I double over laughing at his texts.

We’ll see how he does in person.

Ghost

3 Mar

I have so many questions for you today. Is it called ghosting when someone you’re “dating” disappears because you’re left haunted by all of their nonsense?  Is that why?  It’s the ghost of all of the conversations and trying to figure out all of the clues?

Here’s another question for you: why hasn’t #4 texted me??  The last exchange we had was on Wednesday night.  Crickets on Thursday and Friday.  That’s a pretty loud and clear message from him.  Got it.  Fine (not really).  Look, we all knew he was a douche, and this is typical behavior for a douche bag.

I guess I thought since we had established some time of rapport he’d give me the fucking courtesy of telling me if he didn’t want to pursue anything.  He was really direct before.  So what gives?  Had it been 1 date and he pulled out, totally get it.  We were a month into whatever – texts every damn day.  Then POOF! he disappeared.  Lesson learned: don’t do that to someone.  I’m glad that I had the decency to tell The Tutor that I was out.

But #4 and I  weren’t going to date.  We drew some lines in the sand – “no dating” we said.  “Friends with benefits,” we agreed.  I was very careful to listen to the words he said, I repeated them back to him.  I understood what he was looking (or not looking) for.  Thought we were on the same page. Tuesday night was fun.  He said as much that night and the next night.  Which is what he said he was looking for, fun.

So what the fuck happened?  Me not understand.

I don’t understand men.  They’re stupid.  And so are women.  We spend an inordinate amount of time over analyzing all kinds of stupid nonsense.  Frankly, there are better ways we could spend our time, like watching Netflix, hanging out with our friends and having pillow fights, braiding our hair, doing our nails, overthrowing the patriarchy, fighting to close the wage gap, really anything is better than wasting a second thinking about someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Guess what?  I’m a god damned chick and I don’t know how to turn my brain off.  I know #4 is way too much in his head.  He’s lost in his own emotional baggage which is why he’s disappeared off the face of the earth.  The second the lights go off in my room and it’s time to go to bed my brain goes into overdrive and it’s time to analyze every little thing that happened leading up to, during, and after Tuesday night’s shenanigans.  The muscles in my body are still sore (validating I’m totally out of shape).  If by some miracle I’ve shut off my brain, as soon as I move in bed and I feel the soreness, it makes me think thoughts all over again.  It’s so annoying!

There’s a tiny (or not so tiny) part of me that thinks, “you weren’t enough.”  I’m shutting that shit down pretty quickly.  Or trying to.  For the most part I’m doing pretty well with attempting to distract myself with other dates.  The hard part is that since I have so many questions it’s hard to let go of wanting the answers.

I just want to understand.

And I want him to message me so that we can bone.

My boss told me I should text him “how was your trip?” Then when he responds asking, “what trip?” I should say, “the one in your head.”  I’ve thought about texting him to get out of his own head, remind him it was just a hook up and he knows how to find me.  I’ve thought of a dozen scenarios and clever text messages I could send to hook him back in.  Not going to happen.  I will not text him.  I’ve deleted all of his text messages* and his number from my phone.  We’re unmatched from Tinder.  If he contacts me I’m going to tell him to go fuck himself.**

*Except maybe the texts that popped up on my computer because some of the racy ones were pretty good.
**Or hook up with him again.

A long distance dedication

1 Mar

Civil Servant (#7) is lined up for Saturday afternoon.  Working on #8.  Both are 32.  I’m considering this an important social experiment.

Should it happen, I’m dedicating my “adventures” with #8 to my friend, Grey Goose, Dirty.  You’re welcome.  Feel free to expand the post to see what he looks like.

Continue reading

Age is just a number

27 Feb

I am 44.  #4 is 38.  That’s a 6 year age difference.  Really, he’s probably too old for me anyway.  I’ve always had a preference for younger men.  At my age thinking about dating someone who is in his 50’s makes me feel yucky.  Feels too old for me.

Over the weekend a friend of mine told me I should date much younger because I had a young spirit, and so I had to find a man who had one too.  He thought that 27 would be good for me.  First of all, I love him.  He’s great.  High five.  He’s like a great older brother who I never had.  Second, if the dude is 27 I’m technically old enough to be his mom, that feels a little yucky.

I have not embraced my inner Cougar.  I should.  Thanks to my friend who reminded me that the Cougar rule is 1/2 your age + 7.  That means my limit is 29.

Date #7 (Civil Servant) is lined up for Saturday.  He’s 32.  #4 is a fling.  Casual.  We are free to see whomever we want.  If a 32 year old has a hot body and wants to mess around, who am I to say no?

Online dating is fun.  You should do it.

Protected: Small town dating

23 Feb

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Pleasantly surprised

23 Feb

I owe you an update on my date the other night with #6.

We had made arrangements to meet at a cool restaurant downtown that I’d been dying to try.  He arrived before I did and when I walked in I was happy to see that he was a bit cuter than his pics.  He was also a bit shorter than I thought and with my amazing boots I was probably an inch taller than he was.  Whatever, no bigs, figured I’d never have to wear heels again – I love flats.  #6 was in a bit of a panic when I got there because he’d realized he’d left his wallet in the back of the uber.  In some respects it worked out well because the problem solving mode we had to go into helped us get past any nervousness.

Wallet in hand, we were able to sit down and enjoy our drinks.  The drink menu was the bomb and sitting at the bar we were able to watch all the madness in the restaurant. I’ve come to the conclusion that sitting at the bar is way better than sitting at a table because you’ve got a better chance of reading body language, and if they have hot arms and you want to touch them, it makes it easier.

For those of you who voted in the poll as to whether/not I should give him a birthday card (his birthday was the night before), “yes” was the right answer.  He loved the card and was touched that I’d even thought to do that.  I’m a kind person, god damn it (someone tell #4).  Let me thank NONE of you for telling me what I should write in his birthday card.  Really helpful.  No really, thank you to no one.  In the card I’d written that I’d handle first round of drinks and he told me absolutely not.  When he got up to go to the bathroom I closed out the tab on the first round because I knew he’d fight me.

I had really low expectations going into the date.  In our messaging he was making me do a whole lot of work and the conversation wasn’t flowing.  In person, I was getting all sorts of right signals and the conversation was smooth.  He shared some fun Tinder/OKC stories, asked questions about me, was a good flirt, and fun company.  As I did the previous night on my date with #5, I got up at one point to go to the bathroom just so he could see how amazing I looked in my outfit.  Yes, I wore the damn one as the previous date.  No, I don’t have a problem with doing that.  The outfit was banging.  I may start wearing it everyday.

Three hours (and three drinks) went by in the blink of an eye.  “I don’t know what I was expecting tonight, but I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised,” he told me.  He said he thought I was smart and very attractive and that he’d love to see me again.  Likewise.  So promising!  It was a great first date.  Not quite as spicy as the first one with #4, missing some of the chemistry, but definitely worth another date.

I messaged him when I got home and gave him my number.  Text message sent from him 5 minutes later.  Good morning texts on Wednesday and Thursday – some witty banter the rest of the days.  And yesterday he asked me out again.  I said yes, of course I said yes, because he’s cute and funny and we have some chemistry and why the hell not?

 

That awkward moment when…

23 Feb

You’re at dinner with friends, discussing your dating life, and you realize you and one of your friends are dating the same guy.

Wednesday night

21 Feb

It’s 78 degrees on a hump day. Home from the gym and sitting on the porch. When I’m not taking a sip from my massive glass of wine (defeating the whole purpose of going to the gym), I’m busy swiping – typically left – on Tinder and responding to me text messages.

Must restrict my wine intake or may end up sending the right text message to the wrong guy.

I like to call this screenshot “Wednesday in February”. This has been going on since this morning. It’s been a rad fucking day.