Tag Archives: just a thought

Time Flies When You’re Getting Old

21 May

It just occurred to me that 14 years ago today I graduated from college.

Man, it seems like a lifetime ago.

I clearly remember sitting out on that football field sweating to death and wishing to God that someone had told me to take water with me.  And that someone had mentioned that sitting in the blazing sun while wearing a black robe AND having a hangover sucked dog balls.

Repost: Grow Up

24 Mar

Every once in awhile, when I’d rather gouge out both eyes than actually do work, I’ll go back through my posts to find out what I was doing a year or two ago.  As it turns out, a year ago I was going out and buying beer and codoms.  Here’s the thing: I have absolutely ZERO idea why the hell I was buying condoms as there wasn’t a peen in site!

Grow Up
(originally posted 03/23/08)

When did this happen? No, I’m not referring to a herp sore or how I’ve managed to gain 40+ pounds since I graduated from college 13 years ago. I have a hard time pinpointing the exact moment that I became an adult.

I find myself wondering about this from time to time when I’m laying (alone, oh so very alone) in my bed in the home I bought with my very own money (and the money that my mom and dad so generously gave me). There’s a list of things that I run down when the question pops into my head.

  • I own a single family home. Sure the yard is an absolute freaking disaster, but it’s mine and I can do whatever I want with it. And that includes never having had the gutters cleaned since I bought the house in 2003.
  • I own a car. Which desperately needs an oil change…and has needed one for about 6 months now.
  • I mow my own lawn. And the water meter too.
  • I pay my bills on time (usually). Depending on whether or not it’s going to get in my way of boozing.
  • I have a job. Scratch that, I have a career-complete with benefits, paid vacation, business cards and a shiny title.

Yet none of these things makes me feel like a grown up. In my mind, I’m still that insecure, teenager from high school. The one that was too shy to talk to boys, and would turn bright red if the teacher ever called on my in class. The girl that would watch from the sidelines as her crush flirted with another girl.

We all have our moments of immaturity, I probably have more than most people, but the fact is that I am an adult. The realization hit me this morning when I was reminding myself to run an errand at lunch time. This is the ultimate errand in adulthood-nothing beats this. Nothing.

I’m going out to buy a 12 pack of beer and condoms.

I’m so boss it freaking hurts me. Maybe I’ll pick up a copy of the Economist and yell at some kids to get their asses in school. I’m totally grown up. Either that or I really am in high school and I’m borrowing my older sister’s fake ID so I can score some Milwaukee’s Best.

I feel the need, the need for speed. And by “speed” I mean “to slap Sarah Palin in her stupid f’ing mouth.”

2 Oct

When did this happen to me? When did I become this person that was so interested in politics that I sat down and watched an entire debate? I mean, sure, I majored in Politics in college. But I always knew I would never go into it because it was dirty. I’ve manged to avoid every single debate. Right up until tonight’s.

I’m thinking that I have Katie Couric and Sarah Palin to thank for this. If it hadn’t been for the interview(s) where Sarah Palin was made to look so stupid one wondered how she managed to remember to breathe, I probably would have tuned out. I have to admit, she didn’t come across quite as stupid as I thought she would have. Though I did find it most amusing when she called him O’Biden, and when she said she might not answer the questions as they had been asked.

I might have to take this tactic the next time that someone asks me a question I don’t want to answer.

  • 3D: How do you feel about me?
  • Me: I’m glad you asked that question. Feelings are important. We all have them and one of the things that’s most important is how we feel about Energy. Let me tell you where I stand on that…

Damn it. I think I missed my calling.

Now let me throw out a question to you: is it just me, or when you hear the term Maverick, do you immediately think of Tom Cruise in Top Gun?  I think they’d have a better chance in winning if the ticket looked like this:

Oh, and just to be clear here, I’m not saying that I support Tom Cruise. He sucks ass. Dirty, dirty ass. This is all about Maverick in Top Gun. He gets my vote. And yes, I think Goose would make a much better running mate than Sarah “the pitbull” Palin.

Grow Up

23 May

When did this happen?   No, I’m not referring to a herp sore or how I’ve managed to gain 40+ pounds since I graduated from college 13 years ago.  I have a hard time pinpointing the exact moment that I became an adult.

I find myself wondering about this from time to time when I’m laying (alone, oh so very alone) in my bed in the home I bought with my very own money (and the money that my mom and dad so generously gave me).  There’s a list of things that I run down when the question pops into my head.

  • I own a single family home.  Sure the yard is an absolute freaking disaster, but it’s mine and I can do whatever I want with it.  And that includes never having had the gutters cleaned since I bought the house in 2003.
  • I own a car.  Which desperately needs an oil change…and has needed one for about 6 months now.
  • I mow my own lawn.  And the water meter too.
  • I pay my bills on time (usually).  Depending on whether or not it’s going to get in my way of boozing.
  • I have a job.  Scratch that, I have a career-complete with benefits, paid vacation, business cards and a shiny title.

Yet none of these things makes me feel like a grown up.  In my mind, I’m still that insecure, teenager from high school.  The one that was too shy to talk to boys, and would turn bright red if the teacher ever called on my in class.  The girl that would watch from the sidelines as her crush flirted with another girl.

We all have our moments of immaturity, I probably have more than most people, but the fact is that I am an adult.  The realization hit me this morning when I was reminding myself to run an errand at lunch time.  This is the ultimate errand in adulthood-nothing beats this.  Nothing.

I’m going out to buy a 12 pack of beer and condoms.

I’m so boss it freaking hurts me.  Maybe I’ll pick up a copy of the Economist and yell at some kids to get their asses in school. I’m totally grown up.  Either that or I really am in high school and I’m borrowing my older sister’s fake ID so I can score some Milwaukee’s Best.