Thomas Dolby Will Cry When He Reads This

Newmie is frenching hilarious.  I swear to the baby Jesus and all the small woodland creatures that she should have her own freaking show.   We’re chatting over text messages and I just started guffawing at the last message she sent me:

Newmie: …Any word from 3D lately?
Me: Thankfully, no.  He’s probably busy working out, talking about his feelings, and scaring kids with his horse teeth.
Newmie: Hah ha ha.  Comedy gold.
Me: I don’t know if I feel more sorry for him or for me.
Newmie: I blame him.  You were blinded by cock.  Kinda like blinded by science, but not.

There’s Something I Forgot to Mention

It totally slipped my mind, I swear.  It’s not like I would ever purposely keep this from you.  No, I would never do that-this is just to juicy to not share with you.

Oh, and it has something to do with 3D.  And it happened over a month ago.

God, I can’t believe I haven’t told you yet.

It’s just a reminder of how small Baltimore really is.

But I don’t have time to tell you right now.  I have errands to run.  I’m off to the grocery store.  Woo hoo!!  In the sleet.  So fun.  Hey, Newmie, do you want me to pick you up a turkey sub while I’m at Wegmans?  If you want, we can talk about feelings when I get back.  Or moobs.  Either one.