Newmie is frenching hilarious. I swear to the baby Jesus and all the small woodland creatures that she should have her own freaking show. We’re chatting over text messages and I just started guffawing at the last message she sent me:
Newmie: …Any word from 3D lately?
Me: Thankfully, no. He’s probably busy working out, talking about his feelings, and scaring kids with his horse teeth.
Newmie: Hah ha ha. Comedy gold.
Me: I don’t know if I feel more sorry for him or for me.
Newmie: I blame him. You were blinded by cock. Kinda like blinded by science, but not.