Tag Archives: Claude

Gimmie Love

8 Mar

Dear younger sister, or really, dear only sister.  Now’s the time for you to go and find something else to do and not read the post.  What’s for dinner tonight?  Are you and the kids going out since my brother-in-law is heading out of town?  May I recommend something delicious for tacos?  Because tacos are always good.  Get on that.  And stop reading.  Thank you.  Goodbye.

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Professor Claude

6 Aug

Everyone has a first time.  It’s always magical – or tragic – but there’s usually a good story that follows.  In my case, it was some random dude that I met at the beach and it happened a very, very long time ago.  As luck would have it, when I was in college, I was also someone’s first.  At the time, it was thrilling to think that this guy had never been with anyone else and he would always remember me as his first one.  Looking back on it, I think it was probably the most disappointing 18 seconds of my life.


As luck would have it, our own dearest Claude has been given a very unique opportunity.  Recently, he met a young Mary – a virginal young Mary who has yet to be introduced to the delights that the world has to offer him.  Claude has the chance to dishonor him forever and shame him into doing dirty and debauched things that most people only see in adult movies educate him.  Claude, however, is going to pass.

Here’s my question: why?

Do it, Claude.  Do it for yourself, for him, and for all his future partners.  Suck it up and take one for the team (literally and figuratively).

People, what say you?

Protected: Not So Peen-tastic

8 May

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