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Go home, Sugar Bear

15 Jun

I love the experience of going to the movies to see an action flick.  Sitting in a dark theater, the sound of explosions all around me, a bucket of buttered popcorn in my lap, and a plastic cup full of cheap white wine in the cup holder next to me.  Have you gone to see Deadpool 2 yet?  You should.  It’s hilarious!  On the phone with my girlfriend the other night she mentioned it wasn’t as funny as the first.  Au contraire mon frère – it’s just as funny, maybe even funnier!  Burst out laughing a few times.  You should definitely go and see it in the theater.  Immediately if not sooner.  The only thing that would have made it better is Ryan Reynolds, sans Deadpool makeup, doing some full frontal.  Alas, was not to be.

#4 and I had a lovely time on our platonic date.  Or non-date as it were.  He’s shaved his beard, it suits him.  The last time I saw him he was leaving my house just before midnight about 2 months ago.  We’ve kept in touch since then, obviously, and there’s been zero discussion of what we’d done in the past.  Just the transition to friendship.

There was no full frontal last night.  There was no semi frontal last night either.  I paid for the tickets, he paid for the popcorn and drinks.  We caught up a bit – not that there was much to catch up on since we’ve been texting most days.  We sat in the dark together and laughed.  Our arms were touching at one point and it made me wonder whether it was deliberate or if it was more related to the way personal space changes after  you’ve been with someone.  Even after it’s transitioned to friendship there’s still something about the personal space which changes – there’s a bit less of a distance, I guess.  I drove him home.  And now what else? I had zero desire to dive into his lap, and I’m pretty sure he felt the same way.

So Tinder has given me several hookups, a few trips to Bone City, 1 boyfriend, and 1 friend.  That’s a pretty good outcome.

Asking for a friend

14 Jun

Let me throw a scenario out there and you tell me your thoughts.

So I have this friend who has a boyfriend she’s been seeing for a few months.  Let’s call him Mister the Bread.  Typically when she and Mister the Bread hang out, they have multi-day dates.  Every other weekend.  This weekend he’s supposed to visit her, however, as it turns out he has some chest infection.  He’s been sick for a few weeks.  The conversations the last week have basically been about how he’s sleepy and is going to go and take a nap or what he should watch on TV while he lays in bed.  She’s annoyed.  They decide to postpone the visit and see how he feels tomorrow.  He wakes up from his nap and calls her.  He happens to mention he now has his kids tomorrow night which means he’s not going to visit her at all.  He says his medicine has kicked in and he’s getting sleepy again.  Because he has taken medicine with codeine, which he doesn’t need, just before he called her.  She tells him to go and take a nap.

Her plans for the evening are now wide open.

And let’s say this friend has kept in touch with someone she boned.  We’ll call him #3.  Their “relationship” transitioned easily into friendship and all of the insanely spicy messages they used to send each other were immediately stopped when she started seeing Mister the Bread.  Anyway, he takes himself out to movie dates all the time.  Learning they’re both free this evening they decide they’re going to meet up at the movie theater to see an action film.  Platonic date – everyone pays for themselves, no touching.  There’s no romancing.  She’s not even going to wear mascara or dress like she’s on a date, she’ll frump it up a bit.  This seems like a totally awesome idea, right?

On a scale of 1 to bad idea, how do you rate this scenario?

Protected: Chubby chaser

18 Apr

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Check mate

17 Apr

I am a horrible person.

A horrible person who took the easy way out and ended up crushing a soul and stealing a spine.

A horrible person because it was easier for me to avoid the conversation than to have it and instead I ended up being more hurtful to the other person. Which of course makes me feel shitty and makes me think I should have been more forthcoming about where I was and where we were never going to go.  Oh, Chess Player.  I’m an asshole.  A hurtful dick hole.

He knew I was dating other people, but I think he thought we were further along than we actually were. He knew I was going away last weekend, but I didn’t tell him it was with Monsieur le Baguette.  Maybe if it was a different time, if there was no MlB, I don’t know.

Last week after I’d gotten home and MlB and I had “the talk” the Chess Player texted me to see how my weekend had been.  I didn’t respond.  I told myself I’d get to it at some point, and instead I let it go.  A week went by and last night – after a week of silence from me – he sent another message, “Hey, hope you’re well.  It seems like I completely misread the situation between the 2 of us.” I could have chosen to ignore it, to let it go, and leave him wondering.  Then I thought I’d hate if someone did that to me.  I’d swallow the discomfort and tell him what was up.

So I messaged him.  I told him I’d met someone the week before I’d met him, and he was who I had been with last weekend, and we’d decided to give things a go as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And he was blindsided.

And I am an asshole.

He feels confused and led on, and I did that to him.  It is hurtful when someone does it to you and here I’ve done it to someone else.  I should have told him sooner.  I should have just not texted him or gone out with him again.  But I didn’t do those things.  Instead we texted frequently, I said yes to a date with him, I ended up naked in his bed again, and I made him think we had some kind of future together when that wasn’t the case.

I am a horrible person.

Protected: Officially official

11 Apr

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Lucky number 3

5 Apr

Ladies and germs, I’m pleased to share with you that today Monsieur le Baguette and I are heading out for a 3rd date.  This time we’re spending the entire weekend together.  Three whole nights!!  We’re off for a fun filled weekend in Washington, DC where we’ll wander the city, make out at various monuments celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary (again), order room service, drink champagne, wreck the bed in the hotel, and not sleep.  #romance

It’s been 2 weeks since we last saw each other and we’ve spent countless hours on the phone.  Marathon phone calls lasting up to 6.5 hours (no joke).  What do we talk about?  Everything.  Nothing.  If we’re crazy because of this spark.  If the spark is real.  How will we know?  Should we slow things down?  How would we?  Should we just lean in and go for it?  When will I meet his kids?  When will he meet my family?  A few nights we haven’t said goodnight until after 4:00 am.  If the late nights are any indication of how the weekend will go, pretty sure that we’re not going to be getting much sleep.

Seems to me like things are going pretty well so far.  We’ve started referring to each other as “future” boyfriend/girlfriend.  Why future?  Because he hasn’t finished up with his rebounds.  And because I’ve got at least 1 more romp with #4 planned – next week.  The other night when we were on the phone I said something about how he needs to finish them and he said, “I’m not going to.”He went into it thinking, “maybe there’s someone better out there.”  Instead he’s going out and thinking to himself, “I’d rather be with Catherinette.”  I’m a rare gemstone!!

We’ve already started talking about our next date which will likely be in May.  That time we’ll be hopping on a plane and jetting off for a romantic weekend in wine country.

I’ll keep you posted along the way.  Wish me luck!

Running the bases

30 Mar

Yesterday was a beautiful day for a baseball game.  The sun was shining.  The weather was just right.  The crowds were festive, and the O’s won in the 11th inning.  First game of the season is in the books. As is, probably, my last hook up with the Chess Player.

We spent the entire day together.  Met him at his apartment just after lunch, we walked to the stadium and spent the day drinking.  He didn’t want me to pay for anything because he’s a southern gentlemen, and that’s now how he rolls.  He’s charming and smart, I’ll give him that.  But when he grabbed my hand while we were sitting down, or he was gazing into my eyes, all I could think of was, “I’m so not where you are right now.” He beamed when we were buying beers and the dude behind the bar said we looked like a “nice young couple.”  Cute since there’s an 11 year age difference.  The Chess Player is too into it.  He talked about the future – how we would take me to football games in the fall, “if you decide to stay around,” he told me.  Uh…um…so not there with him.  Not even a tiny bit.

How does one person read signals which aren’t quite there?  What did he see to interpret there’s a future?

We didn’t watch much of the game because we were too busy making out in the stands.  I’m sure it was annoying to the people sitting next to us.  Had I been sitting next to a couple (not a couple, 2 people sitting together) who were making out I would have been rolling my eyes and whispering, “get a room” under my breath.

Oh.

Maybe he read my making out with him in public and letting him hold my hand as signs I’m more present than I actually am?  Yikes. My bad.  I didn’t mean for that too happen.

[Oh hey, is that you, sibling?  Because you can go now.  Tap out.  Is that your phone ringing?  ** BRRRRING BRRRRING**  I think it is.  You should probably get that call. ** BRRRRING BRRRRING**  It’s probably really important.  By the way, did you need me to bring something to dinner on Sunday? I may have said I was going to bring some veggies, but can’t remember.  Text me if you want me to bring something.  And also, I expect an Easter basket. ** BRRRRING BRRRRING** Go answer the phone.  Or at least look away.]

Perhaps he also interpreted my ending up naked in his bed at the end of the night as some kind of sign.  There was no boot knocking, no home run.  Thought about it, but decided it would send all kinds of mixed signals.  We did slide into 3rd base.  In text exchanges with #4, he’d said my talents were wasted on the Chess Player.  He, surprisingly, was more skilled than I assumed he would be.  That was pleasantly surprising.  It was fun.

And it wasn’t.

Not sure how to describe it.  There was something missing.  I did not feel present.  It wasn’t mechanical, and I don’t mind meaningless, but it was hollow if that makes sense.  My mind was elsewhere, with someone else.  Engaging with the Chess Player was difficult, the connection was off for me.  I’m not typically one who tends to be quiet in the bedroom, but I couldn’t get into the talking.  He was saying the right things, but I wasn’t there, so my silence made me feel more disengaged.  My focus seemed to be on finishing so we could wrap things up and I could go home.  Even in the throes of – well, you know – I kept thinking this whole thing would have been way more fun with Monsieur le Baguette.

I’d rather be with him.

Interestingly enough, had the hook up been with #4 instead, there wouldn’t have been an issue with him.  Perhaps it’s because we already have some sort of established connection and there are no illusions of what is/not between us.  We’ll find out when he comes back around in the next few weeks.

The Chess Player leaves today to visit his family, he’ll be gone for the weekend.  Hopefully, the distance will serve to cool things off.