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Sweet Imaginary Office Romance

16 Jul

Ah, the secret boyfriend.  So secret he doesn’t even know about it.  Is it cheating if you have a real boyfriend and a secret boyfriend at the same time?  No lines crossed – except for when you stare into his dreamy green eyes a second too long.

The Cyclist joined our team about a month ago.  When I met him during the interview he reminded me so much of Monsieur le Baguette (MLB).  Two primary differences, The Cyclist looked smashing in a pin stripe suit with suspenders (swoon with me now) and I’ve never seen MLB in a suit; and MLB has dreamy blue green eyes where The Cyclist has dreamy green eyes.  They’re both divorced.  They both have kids the same age.  They seem to have a similar sense of humor, not 100% sure of The Cyclist’s since he and I haven’t gone out and gotten drunk – yet.

Every morning he has to walk by my office and he’ll pop in to chat for a few minutes.  We were the last 2 in the office on Friday afternoon, and talk turned to happy hour and where we like to go drinking.  I had mentioned I was heading out but wasn’t feeling it since MLB and I had gone out the night before and I had woken up still drunk.  “Morning sex is the best,” he said to me.  “Ugh.  I was too hungover to do anything this morning.” I replied.  “I don’t want to know,” he responded.

Yes he fucking does.

So whatever, we went off our separate ways after agreeing to go out and grab a drink sometime.

I went home to an empty house as MLB had gone off for a boys’ weekend which was basically a 2 day bender.  Yesterday morning when we were texting he told me he was planning on leaving early and wanted to come and stay with me.  Um, yes.  We had a nice night.  I rocked it as the little spoon, he hogged the bed, he was adorable.  Usually, when he sleeps over during the week he gets up when I do and feeds Mr. Bojangles then makes me coffee.  Think the bender got to him as he was dead to the world.  When I woke him up to tell him I was leaving he tried to pull me back into bed with him.  Tempting, but dating him is expensive and I gotta pay my bills.

Sitting at my desk this morning and the emails start popping through from The Cyclist.  Questions about how the weekend went, plans for the week, etc.  A secret romance is blossoming.

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(Work) Wedding Bells

30 May

Everybody, I have an exciting announcement: yours truly is getting married!!  That’s right!  For the first time in about 3 years I’m going to have myself a work husband.  So excited!!

There’s something so special about the relationship between work spouses.  There’s a fine balance between friendship, intimacy (in a mostly non-sexual way), and professionalism (kind of).  Your work spouse is the one who you know can keep a secret, who you give pep talks to when they’re feeling blue and who’ll do the same for you, the one who you trouble shoot with, and celebrate with when one of you has a win.  They’re the ones you have secret exchanges with in meetings.  Kind of like a work bestie – only with way more flirting.

In the past I had Disney and I had Folgers.  I even had a boss with dreamy blue eyes who I was promoted above and then I made him sit next to me and we would distract each other from work for ages and now when I see him I want to climb in his lap and tell him to hold me.  Actually, I wanted to do those things when we worked together.  Alas, he was married.  He still is.  God damn it.

My new work husband, or maybe he’s a secret work husband since he doesn’t know about it yet, has just been hired.  He wears pin striped suits with suspenders.  He is funny and charming.  He is sharp.  We’re going to hit it off and soon we’ll be off at lunch excluding the other leader who has a shitty attitude about life.  I can’t even wait!

He reminds me of Monsieur le Baguette a little bit.  Only a bit more conservative and with dimples.

A real life boyfriend and a real life secret work husband.  Both with dreamy eyes and charming personalities.  What could possibly go wrong?

Life is good, my friends.