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Protected: Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

7 Apr

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Protected: Jack Half-Assed

8 Feb

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Quite Possibly Funnier Than “That’s What She Said”

14 Aug

I am hilarious.  Seriously.  Hilarious.

  • Jack Ass (referring to a volunteer activity he did): I’ve never done it with kids before.
  • Me: That’s just as well because it’s illegal.

[insert drum roll here]

No, I Do Not Work at Hooters

29 May

My rack is on full display today.  Kind of.  While there is no cleavage showing, my shirt is doing it’s best to accentuate my full bosom.  It probably doesn’t help that there are words written on the front of the shirt, which is the excuse people give when I catch them staring.  Jack Ass accused me of wearing a Hooters shirt to work.

I’m guessing the orange shorts over nude stockings were a little too much.  Nice.  Or perhaps it’s the fact that I’m walking around with a tray in one hand and an order of chicken wings in the other.  I don’t know.

I really didn’t think there was anything wrong with my choice of attire today, until lunch time.  As I was walking around the cafeteria this afternoon, it dawned on me that several “gentlemen” were looking at my boobs when they thought I wasn’t looking.

It was quite festive really.  In fact, I think I might wear the shirt for the rest of the weekend.

9 Jan

Jack Ass is this [ ] close from feeling my fists of fury raining down on him.  Seriously, he needs to shut his fucking mouth immediately if not sooner.  If he bitches ONE MORE time about a meeting he has to attend it is on like Ghenghis freaking Khan.

Shut it!  Shut the fuck up!!

SERENITY NOW!

Protected: Jack Ass: Private Dick for Hire

14 Nov

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Special Times with Jack

9 Apr

I just finished crying at my desk.  Weeping, really.  Even Foxy noticed the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.  I tried to hide them but it was too late.  No my eye make-up is all jacked up.  Looks like I haven’t slept in ages-that’s gonna leave a really great impression at my next meeting.

Foxy and I were in my cubicle having a chat when Jack interrupted.  He was holding up an empty box of treats that Foxy had brought in this morning.  Shaking it at us he said,

“Foxy, I’m gonna rip up your box.”

Foxy, Lit’l Smokey, and I immediately exploded into laughter.  The kind that leaves you in tears, unable to breathe, or make any sound. 

God, I’m so mature!