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I P Freely

6 Aug

What has happened to this society?  It’s no wonder the rest of the world hates America.  Perhaps if we spent more time looking for solutions to problems like world hunger, Cancer, childhood mortality, and global warming than inventing stuff like this we’d live in a better world.

I mean, really?  REALLY?  I don’t know if it’s worse that someone invented something like this, marketed the product, or that someone bought it.

Is it that hard to look for a bathroom and pee?  Or perhaps you could just pee by a tree?  Or maybe, just maybe, you can squat to pee like generations of women before us have done.  Call me crazy, but carrying around something that allows me to pee into it or through it doesn’t really fill me with glee and joy.  How are you going to clean that up?  And you know that you’re going to have to.

On a side note: the production value of the P Mate commercial is exceptionally shitty.  Pretty sure Alanis Morisette and Cyndi Lauper did not give rights to their music so someone could write “P Mate” in urine in the snow.

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A question for all humanity

5 Jan

Riddle me this, Batman and Robin: why would anyone want to read a blog about running?

I don’t get it.  Having to run is bad enough.  But who the hell wants to read about it too??  That’s about as awful as watching fishing or bowling on TV.

An important question for all humanity

8 Oct

Why? Why would anyone drink this?

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An Important Question for All Humanity

26 May

I’m going to pose a little something-something that is going to blow your brain.  I mean BLOW it!  But not in the way that Foxy Luv blows at the bus stations on the weekends and every other Thursday.

Ready?

Here goes…

Have you ever thought about blackberries and blueberries?  I mean really thought about them.  Blueberries and blackberries are both purple.  Yet we say one is blue and the other is black.  What the hell is that about?  And why aren’t other berries named for a color they have nothing to do with?

These are the random thoughts I have when I’m driving to work at ungodly hours…

An Important Question for All Humanity

1 Nov

Is it just me, or sometimes when you give a blowie does your nose run?

An Important Question for All Humanity

26 Jul

What the hell is up with dudes on match.com taking pictures of themselves shirtless in the bathroom?

An Important Question for All Humanity

3 Feb

Have you ever gone to the beach and seen a really fat guy in his trunks?  Usually, the guy is just massive and may or may not have a jiggly belly.  Compare that with a really big girl, and you’ll see that we, as women, are robbed.  Know what that woman probably has that the man doesn’t?  Cellulite.  Not only is the chick fat, but she probably has dimples in their thighs.

Have you ever seen a dude with dimples in his thighs?  No, you haven’t.  Know why?  Neither do I.

What’s that about?  Why do we have to get robbed with that?  Not only do we have to suffer with freaking cramps and practically bleeding to death every month, but we also have to deal with the visual delights of bumpy thighs.