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This Much is True

23 Mar

New Kids on the Block, N’sync, and 98 Degrees can all suck it.

They sucked the first time around, and will inevitably suck the second time around.

But you know who totally ruled the world?  Spandau Ballet.  Sure, I was 8 years old at the time, but who the hell cares?  Their music was magical.  Ma. Gi. Cal.

And guess what?  They’ve just announced that they’re getting the band back together!

Wow.  Really?  Is this news?

Is there no new scoop on how Tom Cruise has decided to say some other stupid thing?  Has Chris Brown decided to keep his hands to himself rather than wrapping them around poor Rihanna’s neck? Have Paris Hilton and Linsey Lohan gotten so boring that we’re getting up to the moment information on has been bands of the 80’s?

Still, I’d rather shell out $30 to see them in concert and relive my youth than pay a nickel to see those jack holes in NKOTB.  God, they are fucking ANNOYING!

Does Your Mother Know?

7 Aug

A few weeks ago, my mom, sister and I went to see Mamma Mia! at a local movie house.  It was good times.  We laughed, I wept like a baby (thanks PMS), and our ears bled when Pierce Brosnan sang.  The man is gorgeous, but listening to him is like listening to a cat in heat.  We’re fans of the ABBA music, they sing some snappy tunes. 

As we were leaving the movie theatre, my mother started laughing hysterically.  My sister and I gave each other a puzzled look and then demanded an explanation.  After all, the movie wasn’t that funny.  She then began to explain something I always suspected, she’s just a tiny bit special.  Sometimes she can get away with it by just blaming the langauge barrier since Spanish is her native language.  This was not one of those times.

She said she found a CD in the house that one of us had left behind.  Thinking it was ABBA, she decided to pop it in and listen to it.  Well, wasn’t she so surprised when the music didn’t sound quite right.  Still, she kept listening to see if she recognized a song.  After six songs-all of them sung by men-she went to look at the album cover.  Oops, it wasn’t ABBA. 

“So who was it?” we both ask.  “I can’t remember.”  She continued her laughter.  “I just remember that it was spelled kind of like ABBA.”

Meanwhile, my sister and I are staring at her wondering if she might have inhaled something before coming to the movies.  What on earth could she possibly have picked up that made her think it was ABBA?  We start rattling off band names.  My mother’s answer was always the same, “Nope.  Not that one.”

Two days went by before we finally got an answer. 

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Just the Tip Tuesday (05/20/08)

20 May

If you’re like me, you have a special soft spot for a hot man with a silky smooth voice.  There’s a time when we all dream of having just such a man serenade us. Today is a very special Just the Tip Tuesday, it’s a two-fer-Tuesday AND both of today’s features are fine musicians.  I would gladly climb aboard either one.

Ladies and boys who like boys, may I present you with Gavin Rossdale and my new favorite song “Love Remains the Same.”  That Gwen Stefani is one lucky little bitch.

And, for your second hot hottie from Hotterton, it’s Dave Matthews with “Stay or Leave.”

Please to enjoy and don’t forget to go and download both on itunes.

Rage Against This

9 Apr

There are several musicians/bands that make my skin crawl.  One of them-perhaps the worst of the worst-is on the radio right this very second.  Note how I’m too lazy to get up, cross the room, and change the station.  Instead, I shall bitch to you about my hatred for said “musical” group.

Have you ever noticed that EVERY SINGLE SONG by Rage Against the Machine sounds EXACTLY alike??  Every single one is Zack what’s-his-face shreaking and yelling.  Me no likey.  He reminds me of a cat in heat.  A very loud screachy cat in heat.  Why do people want to listen to that? 

Oh joy, the song is now over and followed by another band that I hate: Green Day.  I don’t care what road you walk along.  Also, don’t care about your shadow being the only one that walks beside you.  Don’t care.

This is the pain and suffering that one goes through for being so lazy.  I’m on the verge of throwing myself down the stairs. Problem is that I’d have to get up to do that, and I’d pass the stereo on the way and changing the station would save me.  Maybe I’ll just visualize throwing myself down the stairs…

There is one musician that would have me flying across the room-literally flying.  Neil Young singing sounds like nails on the chalkboard.  Seriously, my ears bleed any time I’m forced to listen to him.

That is all.

Is There Something I Should Know?

27 Mar

It’s more like is there something you should know.  Guess I’m going to have to break out my legwarmers, jelly shoes, and tease out my bangs.  Lola, Muffy and I are going to celebrate the good old days at the end of the May.  One of the raddest bands from the 80’s is going to be in our area and we just scored tickets!! 

The Highwayman

5 Mar

There’s a poem by Alfred Noyes that makes me tear up every time I hear it.  Loreena McKennit put it to music and I can’t get through listening to it without a renegade tear setting itself free.  It’s a long song, we’re talking 10 minutes, but it’s worth every weepy second of it. 

The smart thing to do is never to listen to it at work (come to think of it, the smart thing to do is also avoid yellow/orange Mustangs and Notebook).  I, however, have decided to go ahead and listen to it at work today. 

Can’t wait to explain to everyone why it looks like I’ve been crying all day. . .

Please to enjoy the poem (just make sure you have a few minutes to read through it).

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How About Some Whine with Your Cheese?

28 Feb

Sometimes even I am suprised by my own lameness and sappiness.  There’s a point where I just embrace my pathetic inner self and laugh it off.

In the previous post I alluded to a certain somone coming into town.  That very special someone is Notebook (oh how I heart him).  (For you new readers you can go here to find out more about him)  Being the sucker for rejection that I clearly am, I’m getting ready to pine away for him after he rejects me tomorrow.  Sad, I know.

In preparation for the eventual nothingness that will come out of our seeing eachother, I’m listening to my very own playlist (created especially for just such an occassion).  Pathetic, I know.  At this point I have listened to You Don’t Know Me (they lyrics are below) at least 20 times today. 

You give your hand to me
And then you say, “Hello.”
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don’t know me.
(no you don’t know me)
No you don’t know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I’m just a friend.
That’s all I’ve ever been.
Cause you don’t know me.
(no you don’t know me)
For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, “Goodbye.”
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you’ll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don’t know me
(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, “Goodbye.”
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you’ll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don’t know me
(you don’t love me, you don’t know me)

No, I know, it’s really pathetic.  Thankfully, I’ll have some booze in which to drown myself.  If you want the rest of my sappy little playlist, feel free to keep on reading. . .

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Sweeney Todd: The Boring Barber of Fleet Street

31 Dec

Why, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, why?  Mam’s just not feeling it. 

Typically, I’m all over a musical.  I like to get all swept up in the story, sing the tunes and then buy the CD so I can sing them some more.  This was just a very disappointing experience for me.  I was bored, didn’t care for the music, and found myself drifting off and making grocery lists instead of paying attention to the film. 

The only reason I stayed is because I got some warped pleasure out of the misery that Un-boyfriend was experiencing.  He leaned over every 10 minutes to tell me how much he hated me for making him see the movie.  My favorite was when he leaned over about 15 minutes into the movie and asked, “Is this a musical?”  Der!!  Had he watched any of the 1 million billion movie previews he would have figured it out.

Anyway, I hae suffered for all of you.  Save yourself the outrageous ticket price and buy yourself a cocktail instead.  Trust me, the cocktail is far better than this movie.  If you must see it, either wait until it comes out on video or get someone to pay for your ticket (just don’t promise them any kind of sexual favors for the ticket because the movie stinks and you’re going to be awfully sorry when it comes time for you to give up the Bartles & Jaymes for this nonsense-and no, I didn’t promise any favors to Un-boyfriend.  Instead, I paid for the popcorn and sodas.  $21 freaking dollars for a small popcorn, 2 sodas, and some freaking stale nachos.  Rip off.  Rip.  Off.). 

Promise me you won’t do it.  Promise me!