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Georgia Rule

1 May

I love going out on girl dates.  They’re so much fun.  You talk, you drink, you make fun of other people, and you never have to worry about ending up in the back of some yellow(ish) Mustang.  Your friends cheer you on if you’re on the cusp of making a bad decision, and then mock you endlessly the next day.  But you know what, you’d do the same thing to them.  Girlfriends just rock.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed most about writing this blog is having the chance to meet people I never would have met.  Georgia, is one of those people.  Last week we went on our very first girl date (Saturday we went on our second).  She’s funny, she’s cute, and she can do a Southern accent that will leave you in stitches.  Oh, and she has the cutest little jackets you’ve ever seen.

Anyway, I learned something really valuable when I was out with Georgia on Thursday.  I learned about the 4 pump rule.  Have you heard about this?  Because if you have and you never told me, I hate you forever.  Here it is: it doesn’t count as sex if he pumps 4 times or less.  It’s gold!  I’ve never heard of such a wonderful rule-and with such a great name.  Sure I’ve heard of the 2 pump chump, or someone Larry Byrding it (2 pumps and a shoot, thanks to Muffy for introducing me to that one), but the 4 pump rule actually reduces your numbers!!

By my count, there are at least 2 guys who have now been stricken from my list.  Georgia, thanks for making me feel way more virtuous than I actually am.

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28 Apr

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28 Apr

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27 Apr

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More Bad Decisions

26 Apr

You all know that I make “smart” choices.  Please enjoy my 2 most recent ones:

  1. Agreeing to take my nephew to Day Out with Thomas the Tank Engine.  Imagine several hundred screaming kids all fired up about getting to ride Thomas.  Only it’s not really riding Thomas.  It’s riding Light Rail trains that are so freaking old that they’ve been retired that are being pulled by Thomas.  Weather was gorgeous.  The tantrums were not.
  2. Going out and boozing the night beforeDay Out with Thomas. I had a girl date with Georgia last night.  We went to a place that is named after a number and is near a park in Baltimore.  We had a good time.  We had cocktails.  Then we had wine.  Then there were shots.  Followed by more wine.  And then some Grand Marnier.  And one more shot.  Oh, and there was even more wine at some point.  I left at 2 in the morning.  I had to be up at 7:15.  It was ugly.  Very ugly.