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Just the Tip Tuesday (02/07/12)

7 Feb

Are you watching it??  Are you watching “The Voice” on NBC?  Because you totally should be. Look, I’m sick of stupid singing competitions.  “American Idol” has been dead since the second season.  Last time there was a good show was God knows how many years ago when Tommy Lee had that “Rockstar Supernova” show.  Amazing.

Let me tell you why it’s awesome: first, the people can sing; second, the judges have witty banter.  But most importantly, if you’re bored, you can just imagine yourself in the middle of an Adam Levine/Blake Shelton sandwich.

There is a downfall to watching.  You’ll inevitably catch a glance of Ceelo Green’s tiny baby girl hands and get creeped out, but trust me, it’s worth that icky shiver.  Blake and Adam will make it all feel better.

Just the Tip Tuesday (02/01/12)

1 Feb

Go ahead. Admit a British accent makes you swoon. I know it does. It works on me too. If an IRS auditor came to my door to tell me I was going to be audited I’d cream my pants if he said it in an English accent. It would happen. You could tell me anything you wanted, and as long as the dude delivering it has an accent, I’d swoon a tad. Unless it was Rick Santorum talking. I don’t care what his voice sounds like, I’d like to kick him straight in the nuts. What a total rectum.

You can also go ahead and admit you’re just as obsessed with “Downton Abbey” as I am. Amazing show. Amazing. Who would have thought that PBS could put on a show that rivals “True Blood”…only without all the sex and the vampires and nudity. Watching the show makes me want to live during that time, and at the same time makes me thankful I didn’t live back then. You know what that would mean? That I’d still be a freaking virgin. At 38 I’d be an old maid. Not to say I’m not one now, but at least I’ve seen a series of naked men.

This week’s JTT is a special shout out to everyone’s new Lloyd Dobler: cousin Matthew Crawley (so beautifully played by Dan Stevens).

I swear to Christ he gets hotter and hotter every single episode. I’d like to climb all over him, stare into his dreamy blue eyes, and act all chaste. Though I guess it’s not very chaste if I climb all over him. Damn it.

Video

Just the Tip Tuesday (01/17/12)

17 Jan

Lose the cats and I’m in.

You’re welcome.

Just the Tip Tuesday (01/10/12)

10 Jan

I should just go ahead and invest in a Puma store and dress in only Puma gear because I totally am one.  Yeah, I like to rob cradles.  SO FREAKING WHAT??  They’re of age, god damn it!  I’m not Mary Kay Letourneao here.  It’s not like I’m chasing 14 year olds, that’s just gross.  You know what?  There’s nothing wrong with knocking boots with someone who is 15 years younger than you are, assuming you’re older than 33.

So this weeks JTT goes to one of the young hotties I’d like to bang (and I mean that in a very respectful and romantic way): Joshua Bowman.

Yes, I’m probably closer in age to his parents but I don’t give a fuck.  He’s hot and his body is hot and I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers.  Animal crackers.

Look familiar?  That’s because you’ve seen him on one of the season’s hottest shows, ABC’s “Revenge”.  Doesn’t look familiar?  That’s because you, a) live under a rock, b) live in an area that doesn’t play the show.  If you haven’t been watching the show, I’m disappointed in you.  Yes the acting is a little cheesy, but the plot is strong with this one, young Jedi.  Plus he takes his shirt off.

Just the Tip Tuesday (01/03/12)

3 Jan

What?  A JTT??  Jump back!  I know you’re stunned.  Take a moment to catch your breath and regroup.  I’ll be here waiting.  Well, technically I won’t be here waiting, I’ll be at work, but the post will wait for you.  So take a minute and come back when you’re ready.

Feel better now?  Ready?  Okay, let’s go.

So the other week when I met up with Pie Girl she lectured me on the importance of JTT.  While some people made new year’s resolutions to get to the gym or find love or eat less fried food or save more money, I went ahead one to post more JTT’s.  Don’t get too excited.  I said to post more, not to post every week.  And since I set the bar pretty low based on last year’s JTT posts, I’m pretty sure you’ll be getting them once a month.  Kind of like your period – assuming you’re a chick and you haven’t gone through “the change.”

Anyway…

You know what I love?  An actor who isn’t afraid to do full frontal.  Even more, I love a HOT actor who isn’t afraid to show us what he’s packing.  And that’s why the first JTT of 2012 goes to English actor, Michael Fassbender.

Accent and a penis I can see on the big screen?  Ding ding ding!  We have a winner!  If you too want to see him naked and climbing all over chicks, run to the nearest theater playing “Shame”.  If you’re not quite ready to see his schlong, you can also check him out in “300” or in the latest “X-men” movie (he played the young Magneto).

You’re welcome.  Happy New Year. And he’s mine.  I saw him first.  I saw him years ago when he was on a BBC show called “Hex”.  So there.  Back off.

Just the Tip Tuesday (09/27/11)

27 Sep

Know what I love?  When there’s a hot dude on a show.  Know what sucks, when a hot dude gets a new show and his show is canceled.  Poor Jason O’mara always seems to have that kind of luck.

Know what?  I think things might be a little different in Terra Nova this time around.  Sure the show is kind of like a soap opera version of Lost meets Jurassic Park meets Avatar, but who cares.  I think this time he’s figured out how to make it work: by losing his shirt.  Apparently he’s taking lessons from Alex O’Laughlin from Hawaii 5.0.  Smart move, sailor!

He wants me!  Know how I know?  Because he has a cupcake in his hand and dudes who hold cupcakes want me.  It’s true.

Just the Tip Tuesday (08/23/11)

23 Aug

What what?  Two JTT’s in a freaking row?  How did that happen?  Let’s not spend a lot of time talking, let’s just focus on this week’s pick, shall we?

Giddy up, cowboy…

Clearly, he wants me.  Even if he tells me and himself he doesn’t.  I can tell by the way his pants are unbuckled.

You know who you are.  Let’s make out.