Blooming or wilting

25 May

“Are you getting bored yet,” my mom asked a few weeks ago when I was telling her about Monsieur le Baguette.  “What are you talking about?” I asked.  “You always get bored with them.”

Do I?  Do I do that?

Maybe I do.

Am I bored now?  I don’t know.  Maybe?  Maybe I think I am but I’m not and I’m just insecure because he loves 90 minutes away and we see each other every other week and we talk on the phone every night and text all the time but the last few days seem a little off to me for some reason but I don’t know if it’s me or him or if I’m making up a story in my head and I’m thinking I’m not into it when I don’t hear from him but then we’re fine when I do and then I get irritated when he tells me he’s going to bed and his friend ends up showing up and he drinks with him for hours on end and ends up hungover the next day.

He sent me 2 dozen red roses yesterday.

And when I don’t hear from him I question whether/not he likes me.  Um, did I mention he sent me 2 dozen red roses yesterday?

When we’re on the phone sometimes we struggle (in my mind) to find things to talk about.  We share stories from the past, and what we’re doing now and will talk about he future but then I think maybe he’s not smart enough and we don’t have anything in common and I’m looking for a reason for this not to work so I can find an excuse to get out and not have to put in any effort and preserve any heartbreak that might come my way.

Yesterday I told him I might start looking for a new job, he asked if I would be moving to live in his city.

No, no I will not.  Because we’re 2 months in, his kids don’t know enough about me, and I’m not uprooting my life so it’s easier between us.  Too soon.  WAY too soon.  In August he’s taking his kids on a trip and will be gone for 6 weeks.  That’s a long ass time.  We struggle to make it through the 10 days we don’t see each other – what will 6 weeks do.

I have a feeling that’s about the time I might start to get bored.  But I won’t really be bored I’ll just be insecure because I won’t know if he really likes me or not.  Because does he?

Did I mention he sent me 2 dozen red roses yesterday and he asked if I was moving closer to him?


4 Responses to “Blooming or wilting”

  1. Grey Goose, Dirty May 26, 2018 at 9:56 am #

    Hi Friend. 2 dozen red roses are nothing to sneeze at. That being said, I think you are going to get bored ( please don’t hate me for saying this). I think he sounds great. He is SUPER into you; of that I have NO doubt (tell your inner mean girl to shut the fuck up, btw). I think it’s natural (and a bit fucked up) that if a man is ‘too easy’ that the attraction fades. I just do. You need someone to challenge you and I don’t think he does. I know you really like him and that you always have a great time when together, so enjoy it. Don’t question it. Don’t worry about ‘what’s next’ or what might happen in the future. My new mantra (that I’m sure you will need to remind me of at some point in the future) is to not ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. He’s uber into you. The question would be if you are uber into him. For now, yes. In the future, who knows? There’s only one way to find out…..

    • Catherinette May 29, 2018 at 4:49 pm #

      You could be right. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. I’m definitely not mad. Friends don’t get mad at friends for having opinions. I’m gonna not worry about it and I’m going to enjoy the romps and shenanigans and we’ll go from there.

  2. Harley White May 26, 2018 at 11:43 am #

    Sounds like you’re getting over the honeymoon session. It is unrealistic to think that you can go at a 10 an entire relationship if it is going to last. It is about being real. Are you your trueself when you’re with him? You know when you’re in certain situations you hold back or act differently depending on whose in company? It is about being able to be in silence with each other: one watches tv in another room while you sit on your phone. It is about real life scenarios. Is it real; are you real; is he real? Plus, the six weeks will “make or break.” You’re right. They say the heart grows fonder when you’re away. And it is ok to go a day without talking or getting a response right away. Do you talk every single day to your family? Yet you love them and they are in your life still? Friends are being able to be away and not talk and pick right back up where you left off. You know this. You’ve been around 😉 hahaha Jk. Anywho, tell your “girlself” to stop making shit up. #IMHO

    • Catherinette May 29, 2018 at 4:47 pm #

      But it’s so soon to be over the honeymoon! We’ve barely just met. Guess that’s how things go sometimes. I want to chalk up the last week to his being sick with the stupid flu. Things seem better today. Me not know…

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