Archive | 4:22 pm

A letter to all the single ladies

21 Mar

This is for all my single friends out there. I’m going to give you a gift my friend gave to me in December, a kick in the ass.

This is for those of you wondering where your prince/princess charming may be.  Thinking maybe the reason they haven’t turned up has something to do with you.  Saying to yourself, “maybe it’s me.”  Wondering if you’re too boring, unaccomplished, chubby, plain, old.   Perhaps you think you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, fun enough, experienced enough, interesting enough.

Maybe it’s something else.  Maybe all of those things you tell yourself are just that – things you tell yourself.  Bullshit stories you’ve made up that you believe, that you put stock in.  They are bad fairy tales without a happy ending.  Fairy tales aren’t true stories.  You see things in yourself, not nice things, others don’t see and you believe those things.  Those things don’t exist.  Those things are lies.  They are meaningless stories you’ve taught yourself to believe.

It’s time to let those things go.

You are more than enough.  You are a gem.  You are a force to be reckoned with.  You are special.

It’s time to get back out there.  Time to go out and meet people, make new friends, have new experiences, open yourself up.  Get the fuck out there.  Build your profile and put it up online.  Choose whatever dating site you want.  Choose two.  Just do it.  Don’t go into it thinking to yourself, “I’m doing this so I can find my soulmate.”  Shift your thinking to, “I’m doing this to meet new people, learn new things, come up with great stories I can share with my friends, have some fun, try new restaurants and bars.”

Don’t be afraid.  There’s nothing to be afraid of.  What’s the worst thing that can happen?  You take your profile down after a year and haven’t met anyone?  Well guess what?  You will have met people.  And you will have had new experiences.  And you will have grown.  And those things, my friend, are so totally worth it.

Dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and go and see who is out there.  Make out with someone at a bar.  Say yes to things you wouldn’t typically say yes to.  All those things that scare you?  Say yes.  The things that make you feel uncomfortable or you think you can’t do?  Say yes.  When the little voice in your head pops up and sings, “You can’t do it.  You’re not good at it. They’re not going to like you,” tune it out and you fire back with, “I’m doing it.”

Get out of your own way and get the fuck back out there.

You can do it.  When you feel shitty and aren’t sure what to do, or you get some random message you don’t know how to respond to, or you don’t know what to wear, or you’re confused then you’re going to email me and we’ll figure it out together.  I’m going to pep talk the shit out of you and you’re going to do it.

I believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself.