This could take all night

9 Mar

Next time I invite a hot almost stranger to get naked in my bed, please remind me to kick them out by midnight.

Sweet Jesus am I tired.  Tired of rolling around with someone 10 years younger than I am.  For FOUR hours.  Because I am a sex panther.  A sex panther with a hot body – according to the 34 year old.  I mean, he has a name, but who cares?  Actually, it’s occurred to me that I have zero idea what his last name is and I don’t think I’ve heard him utter my name.  How slutty.  Hurray!!

Did I mention he smelled really good?  Because he did.   In case you hadn’t heard, his body was hot.  I mean, I feel like he pretty much knows that I’m just using him for his body, right?  Because, come on.  His body is hot, that’s his most redeeming quality.  Then again, apparently mine is too – which was a shocking revelation I never expected.

Know what’s not so hot?  The bags under my eyes.  Not at all.  They’re not cute in the slightest – like if I ran into anyone I wanted to flirt with it would be the end of everything.  They’d think I had some strange auto immune disorder which was draining away all my energy and causing me to have purple skin under my eyes.  They kind of look like I had mascara on and then it crept under my eye and I never bothered to wash my face.

I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep.  It feels like I’m hungover.  Then again, I probably am hungover.  My dinner consisted of 2 glasses of wine and a cocktail (like an actual cocktail, not, you know, peen- that was more like dessert or a snack).  Four hours of sleep and I’m expected to function at work.  Not possible.  I can’t wait to go home and immediately climb into bed.  It’s going to be the greatest Friday night of all time.


4 Responses to “This could take all night”

  1. Grey Goose, Dirty March 9, 2018 at 1:58 pm #

    Hahaha, life is full of these little trade offs! I’ll take a hard bodied 34 year old who thinks I have a hot body over sleep any day of the week! Your Friday night sounds suspiciously like mine, only I don’t have a ‘good’ excuse for staying home

    • Catherinette March 9, 2018 at 2:13 pm #

      Netflix is a pretty great reason to stay at home.

  2. Girl_ninja March 9, 2018 at 2:05 pm #

    I’m enjoying your blog post. We’re the same age and NOTHING is going in my bed at all. I’m living vicariously and you’ve inspired me to revive my abandoned WordPress blog.
    Enjoy. Be safe. Keep sharing.

    • Catherinette March 9, 2018 at 2:14 pm #

      Girl, get out there and date again. I was absolutely dreading it, and I have to stay it’s been SO fun! It’s also rekindled my love for writing again – I feel like I’ve got some good stories to share. Do it for your readers.

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