Archive | 1:53 pm

This could take all night

9 Mar

Next time I invite a hot almost stranger to get naked in my bed, please remind me to kick them out by midnight.

Sweet Jesus am I tired.  Tired of rolling around with someone 10 years younger than I am.  For FOUR hours.  Because I am a sex panther.  A sex panther with a hot body – according to the 34 year old.  I mean, he has a name, but who cares?  Actually, it’s occurred to me that I have zero idea what his last name is and I don’t think I’ve heard him utter my name.  How slutty.  Hurray!!

Did I mention he smelled really good?  Because he did.   In case you hadn’t heard, his body was hot.  I mean, I feel like he pretty much knows that I’m just using him for his body, right?  Because, come on.  His body is hot, that’s his most redeeming quality.  Then again, apparently mine is too – which was a shocking revelation I never expected.

Know what’s not so hot?  The bags under my eyes.  Not at all.  They’re not cute in the slightest – like if I ran into anyone I wanted to flirt with it would be the end of everything.  They’d think I had some strange auto immune disorder which was draining away all my energy and causing me to have purple skin under my eyes.  They kind of look like I had mascara on and then it crept under my eye and I never bothered to wash my face.

I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep.  It feels like I’m hungover.  Then again, I probably am hungover.  My dinner consisted of 2 glasses of wine and a cocktail (like an actual cocktail, not, you know, peen- that was more like dessert or a snack).  Four hours of sleep and I’m expected to function at work.  Not possible.  I can’t wait to go home and immediately climb into bed.  It’s going to be the greatest Friday night of all time.


I am…

9 Mar

A bonafide cougar. RAWR!! I mauled the 34 year old Civil Servant. His body was spicy and hawt. Clearly he spends way too many hours at the gym.

Oh, and fun fact, apparently I “have a hot body,” and he couldn’t wait to hook up when we met. Please note he said this after clothes were discarded on my bedroom floor. That means he would have seen all my rolls and run his hand up and down my thighs by that point. I’d like to thank the dim lighting in my room, the 2 drinks he had before we came home, and my hot body.

He also enjoyed when he came over, right before we left for the bar when I said, “yeah, so we’re going to have to make out before we go since we didn’t on Saturday.” And we did. Had to get that out of the way and all. Didn’t want things to be awkward. Then I pushed him off me and said we had to go for drinks.

Fun night. Better than I thought. The time at the bar was great! Not as great as the four hours in my room, but great.

I am a sex panther. I touched him below the waist. He was fully naked. I did not sleep with him tonight.

The one thing I found really surprising was that he wanted to snuggle. Like real cuddling. Tight hugs. Real spooning. Um, no. You don’t do that with casual. You lay next to each other, not wrapped around each other. I went along with it, because I’m a chick and I love being the little spoon.

He’s in love with me now. It’ll be awkward when I have to break up with him because I have a date with my future boyfriend on Sunday. In like 6 – 8 weeks my new boyfriend and I will be official. Civil Servant and I will take a trip to Bone City before that. I expect him to make an appearance at my house next week-preferably after Aunt Flow has left town.

Reset the counter.

**Clappity clap**