That’s right, fans. I’m taking matters into my hands and doing what it takes.
And by “matters” I mean “every snack food I can find” and “doing what it takes” I mean “shoving them down my throat”.
Stupid PMS. How is it possible to have so many cravings that can never be satisfied? It’s a miracle I haven’t eaten the island in the middle of my kitchen. The only reason I haven’t tried it is because it’s black and gray and I can’t think of any appetizing foods that are black and gray.
In the last 45 minutes I hoovered:
- An entire bag of chips
- 3 candy bars (the mini ones)
- A bowl of ice cream
- 2 pieces of cheese
- 1/4 herb turkey
- 1 mango
I also managed to break out with 2 brand new pimples. Welcome Simone and Simone 2!
Next up I’m going to sit on the couch and sob my way through the latest episode of Game of Thrones. First I need a big glass of wine so I can rehydrate myself from all the tears I’m going to shed.
How much longer until menopause and hot flashes?