HIRE ME!!

27 Apr

Since I decided to quit my job it’s meant having to focus my spare time on job searching. It’s as shitty as having to jump back into the dating pool after a break up. You have to present yourself in your best light, pretend you don’t have flaws, screen out the weirdos, and be willing to have some awkward encounters in hopes that you’ll find the right match.

In dating I’ve found that personality can go a long way. You can charm just about anyone and they’ll fall for you. That would account for my success in relationships. No. Wait. I haven’t had much success in relationships…

You know what would be awesome? If the world would be willing to hire and pay the big bucks to others who are witty and charming. Job offers left and right I’d have! I can picture it: I could apply to any job and during the phone screen I’d make the hiring manager chortle. Hired on the spot!! Top of the pay grade!! Corner office! Extra vacation. Hiring on looks alone would guarantee me a job in sanitation services (eg. a janitor) or working in fast food-hidden in the back.
Where’s my dream job hiding? Probably somewhere with my Prince Charming.

For now, I’m stuck with the reality that I’ll have to continue trying to find the perfect match professionally and personally. Ugh. It’s exhausting. I’ll clearly have to drown my sorrows in sugar. And booze.

Where are my fat pants?

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