Dragging out the inevitable

24 Jun

So guess freaking what?  GUESS WHAT?  You know how I told you about the douche bag that my girlfriend was dating?  Yeah, well, here’s an update…

So I caught up with her today for the first time in about a week.  I was SURE that after the big fucking fight they had last week that she would have told him to pack up his shit and get the fuck out.  Nay.  She did not.

Instead?

Instead she told him that she would lose some weight so that he could want to be with her.

The things we do for relationships.  Why do we turn in our self worth, our pride, our self respect for someone who doesn’t deserve it?  What makes us think that it’s better to be less of who we are to please someone who doesn’t want what we have to offer?

I feel like we’re sold a false bill of goods.  We’re led to believe that being with someone – anyone – is better than being alone.  And in some warped way we begin to believe that we need to alter who we are, give up a bit of ourselves, comprise things that we believe, just so that we don’t end up alone.  That it’s better to be with someone who we aren’t and be with someone, than to be who we are and be alone.

You know what I have to say about that?  I say fuck that shit.

We should be reminding people that someone should love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.  Compromise?  Sure.  Yes, do it.  But don’t compromise who you are – don’t ever do that.

Not ever.

You are better off on your own as your best self than with someone who doesn’t like who you truly are.

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4 Responses to “Dragging out the inevitable”

  1. dhayter28 June 24, 2015 at 10:41 pm #

    Word! I’ve made the same mistakes as she has. I have since gotten out and could not be happier!

  2. melakamoon June 25, 2015 at 9:11 am #

    If a guy doesn’t want to have sex with you because your thighs are too big, then there is a bigger problem than just losing the weight. He never respected her, he will never respect her and as long as she stays in that relationship, he will always find a reason not to love her or have sex with her. Douchebag guys just want a free ride, both financially and physically. I say she needs to kick him to the curb…and then eat ALL the chocolate ice cream bars. It’s gonna a be a HOT summer!

  3. misschief101 June 26, 2015 at 4:34 am #

    Its true what you say. Your friend over there is an extreme example. There is something though about women who sacrifice to be in relationships. More often than not, it leads to a couple staying together long term or forever. I’ve been reading your blog for years, and always miss the hell out of your lighthearted and funny take on shitty things when you disappear. When it comes to relationships, I’ve have very similar experiences. I’m starting to think this: Men are at their best when they are in a supportive relationship. Even if it means they are the best asshole, best womanizer, best CEO of whatever, best abuser, A good hearted man will thrive with a supportive woman. A woman works the other way. She starts to give herself away, give herself away, stop thinking as an individual altogether, give up on so much of what she loved (excluding the man). The relationships will be her ultimate goal. That’s when two people stay together. The woman compromises the hell out of herself. I have seen it in my best friends, and it pisses me off, but its a choice I suppose, I feel like I am hoping for a rare gem of a man, who knows the balance between making me feel safe and secure in a relationship whilst letting me be happy to change my own tyres, paint my own house, earn my own money, and just carry on being independent old sarcastic me. Who knows if this kind of diamond even exists.

    • Catherinette June 28, 2015 at 6:50 pm #

      You are wise, interesting take here. Though I’m not sure I agree with all of it. I think that there are times when women can be at their best in relationships and their partners are the ones who suffer. I’ve had plenty a male friend who is with a succubus who just tears them down.

      Was interesting reading what you had to say though. I think it’s easy for us to find ourselves questioning how we ended up in a relationship that has slowly chipped away at who we are. Like you, I’m grateful to not be in one of those relationships.

      Also, I’m totes posting your comment as the next post. 🙂

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