The last few days I was in a conference down in DC. Typically this would involve some stuffing my face with delicious food, possibly getting drunk with one of my friends from college, and no doubt getting my fill of man candy. Sadly, I have a stupid test (not a pregnancy or STD test) next Tuesday so I had to study. And by study I mean “get drunk at the happy hour for the conference then go back to my room, have more wine, and spend two hours on Pinterest.”
Sitting at my table there was a woman who looked like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket – this was the only possible explanation for why her hair looked the way it did. She also very much wanted to be punched in the face. A one on one conversation was pleasant with her, but there were three distinct things that she did that signaled that she wanted that punch:
- When the instructor or another student would speak she would end up repeating the last few words of the sentence.
- When she wasn’t repeating words, she was throwing out, “yes”, “aha,” “mmm,” loudly enough for everyone to hear it. Annoying.
- During our table project she would tune out, and then jump in with a suggestion that had no relevance whatsoever to what we had been talking about. And then she’d repeat what we had just said.
Let me give you an example….
- Instructor: So if you recall from yesterday, we were talking about stakeholder engagement.
- Woman who wants to be punched in the face (WWWtbPitF): Talking about stakeholder engagement.
- Instructor: To be effective, you need to remember to ask yourself two questions from the stakeholder’s perspective.
- WWWtbPitF: Two questions from the stakeholder’s perspective.
- Instructor: Is it worth it?
- WWWtbPitF: Mmm, yes.
- Instructor: Can I do it?
- WWWtbPitF: Can I do it?
For two fucking days. TWO DAYS (two days)! Of having to deal with that bullshit (deal with that bullshit). I can only imagine what it must be like for her husband having to sit down at dinner with her and talking about what his day must have been like. Sweet jesus.