Archive | 6:13 pm

What Would McNulty Do?

31 May

I’ll admit, I’m often late to the game.  In the case of “The Wire” – the greatest television show of all time – I was about 7 years late.  Had I watched it while it was actually filming/airing then perhaps I’d be writing this post while Stringer-Bell (Idris Elba) was laying naked beside me.  Because obviously I would have been stalking him all over the city and somehow blackmailed him into dating me.  Which totally would have been possible because I was far younger then than I am now.

My friends who have never visited Baltimore and who have watched the show imagine that everything that happened on the show is pretty much reality.  And it would be a lie if I told you I didn’t feed into their vision of what the city actually looks like.  When I was living in Australia last year, I had a number of friends asked me what life was like in the ghetto and if I lived anywhere near Marlo’s hangout or the Pit.

Yesterday, Martin O’Malley, who was the inspiration for Carcetti announced a bid for the White House.  I wonder what David Simon would have done with that nugget if the show was still airing.  I wonder how he would have depicted the Baltimore riots that broke out a weeks ago.  And I wonder if he would have taken my phone call when I called to tell him about the heroin addict that lives next door to my mom.

She moved in a few months ago, and has been nothing but trouble for since then.  When my mom mentioned to her that she should clean up after her dog, she yelled a string of obscenities to her – not caring that my niece was standing next to my mother.  When a friend of hers parked in a spot that wasn’t hers, my other neighbor told him he couldn’t park there.  The guy got out of the car, flipped her the finger, and left his car there for hours.  The yards are littered with beer cans, the lawn hasn’t been mowed in forever, and the garbage just accumulates outside the house.

About a week ago a dude in a white Mercedes pulled up and approached my mom and one of the nice neighbors.  According to my mom he was high as a kite.  He proceeded to apologize for the behavior of the young man who had illegally parked, and then told them how the guy had been a drug runner for him, and that he was the distributor.  He then spilled the beans about how the neighbor was a heroine addict and that he had been selling to her for years.

Insert open mouths and blank stares here.

Of course my mom and the cool neighbors have complained to the home owners association and she’s being evicted.  She was supposed to vacate the property last week.  She’s not moving.  I’m waiting for McNulty to show up and drag her out.  Sometimes I wonder if the white Mercedes is going to be parked there when I visit my mom and I’m so tempted to ask one zillion million questions.

My first question, of course, would be, “who do you think the bigger bad ass was: Marlo or Omar?”  Inquiring minds want to know.