Catch up with Ketchup

5 Aug

First of all, it’s a good idea to stay away from Catsup and always go with Ketchup.

Second, Ketchup only belongs on certain foods.  Let’s review, shall we?

  • Hot dogs
  • Burgers
  • French fries

Yeah, think that list pretty much sums it up.  There are some of you who will freak the fuck out about the fact that there are so few things on the list.  Let’s be clear here, tomato candy syrup is only right in some places.  It does not belong, nor should every appear anywhere near the following:

  • Rice
  • Eggs
  • Steak
  • Chicken
  • Cereal
  • Sandwiches
  • Mashed potatoes (what the hell is wrong with you?)

Quite possibly the most disgusting combination and biggest violation of the ketchup rule is mixing ketchup with eggs.  Is there no order in this world?  Why?  Why would you do that?  That’s like adding salsa to eggs – also very disgusting.

You’re being gross.  Stop it.

And why would you ruin a perfectly good steak with ketchup?  It’s embarrassing to go to a fancy steak restaurant and have someone order a $50+ steak and then immediately ruin their fanciness by ordering ketchup on the side.  Yuck.  And also, not fancy.  We are at a fancy restaurant, unless you’re getting a burger or fries (which why the hell are you doing that if we’re at a fancy restaurant?) we should not have ketchup at the table.

13 Responses to “Catch up with Ketchup”

  1. WordPress Dating August 5, 2013 at 10:03 am #

    I love catsup but how is that thing spelled these days? LOL

    • Catherinette August 6, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

      You’re safest just never writing the word. 🙂 -CS

  2. Skylers Dad August 5, 2013 at 11:22 am #

    Not even on a hot dog in my opinion!

    • Catherinette August 6, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

      But…hot dogs love ketchup. -CS

  3. girlseule August 5, 2013 at 6:37 pm #

    Oh come on! Ketchup on eggs is cool. What about a big saturday moring hangover fry-up? Bacon, eggs, tomato, mushrooms, sauages and toast all covered in ketchup!

    • Catherinette August 6, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

      Ew ew ew!! If I was hungover and you brought me that food covered in kethcup I would throw up and cry, though not necessarily in that order. -CS

  4. Suelinhess August 6, 2013 at 1:05 am #

    I personally believe ketchup and mustard belong on my table at a Chinese restaurant…

    • Catherinette August 6, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

      All Chinese people have mustard and ketchup on their tables!! -CS

  5. Wendy August 6, 2013 at 6:48 am #

    Ketchup and scrapple! Now THAT’S fancy dammit

    • Catherinette August 6, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

      I don’t know if I’d call that “fancy” – but I can see that more so than ketchup on eggs. **gag** -CS

  6. ron August 8, 2013 at 5:13 pm #

    What about some Tapatio on those eggs? You know that’s delicious.

  7. jussyb August 15, 2013 at 7:08 am #

    My ex used to put ketchup on everything and I used to be so embarrassed. Then I ate his mother’s cooking. Eww! Now I see why he has ketchup on everything, to mask the inedible food! Clearly he’s grown up sploshing ketchup everywhere… old habits die hard!

  8. Dina January 18, 2014 at 9:57 am #

    Bit of a food snob, eh? To each their own. I personally love ketchup on mashed potatoes, eggs, chicken, and steak. The choice should be left up to the person dining. Some people love olives – I hate them. Who am I to judge? Who are you? It’s a petty thing to criticize.

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