It’s said that Eskimos have many words for snow, but only one for love. That’s a bunch of bullshit, but it’s kind of a nice way to start off this post.
Being fluent in more than one language is a bonus. Not only can I talk badly behind someone’s back without him knowing what I’m saying, BUT I know curse words in multiple languages. Being able to call someone a slut in English and Spanish can be extremely useful because sometimes “slut” just isn’t enough. A “slutty puta,” on the other hand, can perfectly describe someone who’s a touch more than slutty.
There are some occasions when an English word doesn’t quite capture the moment. Today, for example, I’m suffering from extreme laziness. Kind of like Lazy Jane in Shel Silverstein’s poem – that’s what I feel like.
In Spanish we have a word for extreme laziness, “hueva”. It’s a noun as in “tengo mucha hueva,” which roughly translates into “I have very much extreme laziness.” You can call someone a “heuvon” or “huevona,” which is relatively derogatory and probably comparable to “lazy bastard.” There’s never been an English word that describes this state of laziness in just the right way. It’s that feeling where you have shit to do, but the only energy you can muster up is related to lifting the remote to change the channel – or it may not even be that much.
Take now, for instance, I should be at the grocery store. Actually, I should have gone to the grocery store several hours ago, instead I’ve napped on the couch, played on the inter webs, and watched stupid movies. All of this under the guise that I’m saving myself money by not going today, and why do today what I can put off until tomorrow.
It’s a beautiful day, and I should take advantage of the glorious weather. I’ve even found a way around that – I’m currently situated on the couch so I can look out the front window and feel the breeze. It’s perfect.
I know what you’re thinking:
But, Catherinette, if you were really in that state of extreme laziness you wouldn’t be writing a blog post.
Ha! You are so wrong. You see, dear friend, this is just another excuse to keep me home. Can’t write a blog post AND go to the grocery store at the same time.
Damn it. I’m hungry. Wonder if there’s a clean spoon and any peanut butter left…