Archive | 11:01 pm

40 Days and 40 Nights

12 Feb

That time of year is upon us: the time when drunk girls show their boobs for a handful of plastic beads, dudes get so drunk they pass out and poop their pants, and people bake cakes with little babies in them.  Happy Mardi Gras!!  As amazing as Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday are, it makes me sad that tomorrow marks the day when my cousin gives up Facebook for 40 days.

Like many other Catholics she’ll give up something she enjoys doing.  Not so much for Farmville and Bejeweled, she’s too cool for that shit, but because it’s how she keeps connected with all her loved ones.  So while her friends and family stage protests and beg her to say, like she does every year she’ll log out of Facebook and do her Catholic duty.

I have friends who give up wine.  Those who give up chocolate.  I even have one who gave up make-up for 40 days – which was a tragedy for all of us that had to be around her.  For years I’ve thought of doing it too, not because I’m Catholic.  On the contrary, I’m a total heathen, my skin practically bubbles when I walk into a church.  When I see priests they often cross themselves, and I can hear them whisper, “the power of christ compels you.”  Yeah, not a Catholic in the least bit, but I’ve had a little Catholic in me (if you catch my drift).  Actually, I’ve had several, but not at the same time – I’m not that much of a heathen.

Anyway, I’ve thought of giving something up just to prove that I can.  So it’s happening, fine people of the blogosphere.  I’m giving up boys.  “Haha” you might think, “not much of a sacrifice since you’re not getting any.”  But it’s more than that.  No pining away for silly boys.  No flirting with the latest cutie at work.  And I’m not going to bat my eyelashes when my super hot and dreamy boss winks those baby blues at me.  No cleavagey shirts.  No dirty text messages.  No online dating.  No corporate pilot.  No ex-boyfriends.  No nothing.

It shouldn’t be THAT hard right?  It’s only 40 days.  I can totally fucking do this.

It’s on.