My. Life. Is. So. Hard!
Jesus, I freaking SWEAR!!
Do you have ANY idea what it’s like to have an incredibly smoking hot secret boyfriend at work who looks to you for guidance?? This is my life, people! I’m his go to person. Yeah, that’s right. He sees me as his mentor?
Why? Because I fucking ROCK at my job. I rock it so much that the head of my department tells me I’m freaking awesome and everyone knows I’m his favorite. FAVORITE.
- Crazy client? Let’s give her to Catherinette because she can turn the client around.
- Impossible project? Catherinette can do it!
- Need help figuring out how to get something done? Ask Catherinette to help you!
- High profile project that requires precise execution? Catherinette to the rescue!
- Smokey hot dude need help getting his work done because he’s not as smart as he is pretty? Catherinette.
This afternoon I spent two hours with my secret boyfriend. Two hours in a teeny tiny room. Yes, my primary motive was to be in tight quarters with him and use my psychic powers to get him to take his shirt off. Did it happen? No, it did not. My chi was off because I had to talk him down off the ledge. He hates his job right now – mainly because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and I rock so much he wanted me to help.
Yeah, I know, it’s super nice of me to help.
But we all know the main reason I’m helping him is because I don’t want him to leave because then I’ll have no one to stare at at work. So for as long as he needs me, I’m his shoulder to cry on.
I’ll bring the Kleenex to our next meeting.
I hope he loses his shirt.