Archive | September, 2012

Party Suite? Party, Sweet!

28 Sep

Life goes on.  One door closes, another opens.  Other witty sayings about new chances and blah, etc., so on, blah.

Yes, Office Adonis is getting married on Saturday.  And yes, I care.  But only because I won’t see his naked body, sweaty and out of breath above mine.  But that’s okay, because I have another secret boyfriend.  Out with the old, in with the new.

This one is tall, and lean, and has blue yes, and dimples.  And he’s smart, and hot, and hilarious.  And, of course, fucking married with a damn baby.  Wait, he’s not married WITH a baby like his wife is a baby.  He has a wife, and they have a baby.  But, whatever, no touching, I get it.  Just looking.

A lot of looking.  Prolonged looking because work is flying us off to the Windy City for a long weekend.  Actually, he asked me if I wanted to go with him to help present on this MASSIVE project we’ve been working on together for the last few years.  Of course I said yes.  I also said yes when he asked if I wanted to extend the trip an extra day so we could enjoy the city.  I even said high fived him when he said his wife and baby might come (to be cock blockers).  And I feigned sadness when I found out that they wouldn’t be able to make it. So sad, too bad.

There’s another coworker, or third wheel, coming with us.  Thankfully, he can’t fly out until a day after we do.

Today when we were making travel arrangements secret boyfriend suggested we get a series of adjoining rooms and we refer to them as “the party suite”.

This is going to be an epic work trip.




Another One Bites the Dust

27 Sep

Let us all hang our heads and give a moment of silence.

It’s a loss for woman kind – Office Adonis is getting married this weekend.  To that girlfriend he cheated on.  Poor girl.  Wonder if she knows her soon to be husband is a philanderer and a jerk.  A man who has never stepped foot out of this country, and feels it’s perfectly reasonable to eat plain chicken breasts for dinner every night of the week.  Or who doesn’t know how to work a grill.

Yes, it’s true.  She looks kind of like she fell out of the ugly tree.  I’ll admit it.  But at least she’s winding up with a dude with a hot body.  Even if he is a total a-hole.

But more importantly, poor me.  Because I can never run my hands up that fine ass chest of his – or grab his giant muscles – or climb him like a jungle gym.

What a waste.