Archive | 8:04 pm

(Not) Bringing Sexy Back

24 May

Justin Timberlake would be so very disappointed right now.

You know what’s super sexy?  Just a hint of cleavage.

You know what totally ruins it?  A giant pimple visible in the hint of cleavage.

Hurray!  Just in time for the holiday weekend my body has decided it would be best for a disgusting white head to appear on the top of my right boob.  What the hell is that about?

I’ve been fortunate in my life.  Yes, there were breakouts when I was a teenager.  No, I never had bacne.  Sure, I’ll admit to rogue pimple from time to time on Vangelina Jolie (which makes me cry and want to freak out and break things).  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to hide that from someone who’s all up in your junk?  That’s a story for another day.  This story is about the giant pimple, who will henceforth be known as “The Situation.”

The Situation, aptly named after the douche bag jack ass from The Jersey Shore, has decided the holiday weekend is the perfect time to make an appearance.  YES!  Totally stocked that my own body is acting as a cock blocker.

Best week ever.  Take that, Vh1!