Jesus Harold Christ! What the hell is wrong with people?? FOR THE LOVE!!
Sure, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m PMSing. OR maybe it has something to do with people being assholes.
So get this. Being the stupid idiot that I am I decided to put my dating profile back on the interwebs. Why? Because my ovaries cry for a baby. That’s another story for another day. Anyway, this time around I’ve decided to respond to they bulk of messages, even if it’s to tell them we’re not compatible.
This evening a dude with a stupid username, let’s call him DOUCHEBAG777 sent me a message. First red flag? The fact that the only pic on his profile is about his chest. Second red flag? The fact that there are so many spelling errors on his profile? Third red flag? The fact that we have very little in common. For example:
- He is a racist, I am not.
- He is a homophobe, I am not.
- He is a sexist, I am a woman.
- He’s looking for a short term relationship with a woman with low self esteem, I want to punch him in the mouth even though I don’t know what his face looks like
- He’s looking for girls anywhere from 22-45, I’m looking for dudes 34-44 and he is 52
- He is a douche, I am not
I wrote back and said thank you for the message, I took a look at his profile and it doesn’t look like we have much in common, then I wrote, “good luck with your search.” Usually dudes don’t respond, or the write back and say “you too.” This guy? He got pissed and wrote, “You’re so rude! You didn’t even answer my question. I asked you why you moved.”
Dear DOUCHEBAG777, it’s no wonder you’re single. You dick.