Archive | 6:49 pm

Just the Tip Tuesday (02/01/12)

1 Feb

Go ahead. Admit a British accent makes you swoon. I know it does. It works on me too. If an IRS auditor came to my door to tell me I was going to be audited I’d cream my pants if he said it in an English accent. It would happen. You could tell me anything you wanted, and as long as the dude delivering it has an accent, I’d swoon a tad. Unless it was Rick Santorum talking. I don’t care what his voice sounds like, I’d like to kick him straight in the nuts. What a total rectum.

You can also go ahead and admit you’re just as obsessed with “Downton Abbey” as I am. Amazing show. Amazing. Who would have thought that PBS could put on a show that rivals “True Blood”…only without all the sex and the vampires and nudity. Watching the show makes me want to live during that time, and at the same time makes me thankful I didn’t live back then. You know what that would mean? That I’d still be a freaking virgin. At 38 I’d be an old maid. Not to say I’m not one now, but at least I’ve seen a series of naked men.

This week’s JTT is a special shout out to everyone’s new Lloyd Dobler: cousin Matthew Crawley (so beautifully played by Dan Stevens).

I swear to Christ he gets hotter and hotter every single episode. I’d like to climb all over him, stare into his dreamy blue eyes, and act all chaste. Though I guess it’s not very chaste if I climb all over him. Damn it.

My First Date of 2012

1 Feb

I know you’ve all been eagerly awaiting my recap of my big date on Sunday.  I can tell by the way no one emailed me or posted any comments.  Nice, really nice.  Remember, years ago when you used to visit and email me and ask me stuff?  What ever happened to that?  Why you no love me no more?  Why?

In a single sentence I can sum up my date with this question: this is why I showered today?

He’s a nice guy.  Absolutely hilarious AND gainfully employed.  He has his shit together, owns a house, says nice thing about his family, and is fun to hang out with.  Average looking guy, and tiny enough I could fit him into my pocket and feed him peanuts while baby-talking to him during a movie.  Sadly, he’s too petite for me.  Too small.  I’m 5’8″, he’s 5’6″ if he stands on his tip toes.  I felt like he had stopped growing when he turned 13, and was stuck at that awkward skinny/small stage.

What can I say?  There were no bells.  There were no whistles.  Butterflies were nowhere to be found.  I saw no stars.  I felt no tingles.  I wish I could tell you he made my toes curl, or I couldn’t wait to see him again, or we made out for hours and it was like magic.  I’m afraid I can’t.

We had a nice time, he made me laugh, but the whole time I was thinking, “I do not want to make out with this dude.  Who can I set him up with?”  That does not bode well.

So, my dears, it looks like this singleton is going to remain single for awhile longer.

I’ll add this to my dating fail list.