I’m Just as Stupid as the Next Girl

27 Jan

The wonderful world of dating often makes girls turn incredibly stupid.  Open mouth breathing, eyes rolling, drooling kind of stupid.  You all know I’ve had an online dating profile up for quite some time.  I took a break from dating last year.  For the first time in umpteen months I have a date.  This Sunday, I’m going out with a dude.  The logical part of me says that we’ll go out, it’ll be pleasant, there will be zero chemistry and it will have been a waste o’ time.

BUT this afternoon I caught myself jumping ahead 100 steps.  These thoughts actually went through my mind:

  1. I need to buy a new outfit for my date.  I’ll probably have to go out and get new bras and underwear once we start sleeping together.
  2. He lives in Jersey and works in the city.  I live and work in the burbs.  Which one of us will move if it works out?  He really loves his house, and I don’t want to commute from Jersey.
  3. I have plans to go to NYC in early March, hotel room is booked.  Maybe I should wait to invite my mom and see if it works out with this guy and he and I can go together.
  4. Two weeks is a long time to be away from someone over the summer.  Wonder if he’d fly up to the Vineyard to spend a few days with me and my family.

I actually thought those things.  All of them.  When I realized what I was doing I started laughing at myself.

Why do we do this?  Why do we immediately start into planning the future before even shaking the other person’s hand?  It’s so totally absurd, yet every single girl I know starts all of that stupid shit when they meet someone new.

Suddenly that crazy girl I mentioned in my last post doesn’t seem quite as stupid as she did before.  Sure, she’s holding on to a relationship that’s super duper dead.  She told me a few weeks ago how she thought she had met someone she could spend her life with – before they went on their first date.  I thought she was totally ridiculous.  AND THEN I go and start planning the same kind of shit.

Look, I don’t delude myself that this dude is the one.  I don’t even know if we’ll make it to the second date, but I do know that the mere thought of having in my life puts me in auto-planning mode.  That just puts added pressure on the whole thing and takes the fun out of everything.  I need to knock that shit off immediately if not sooner.  So, yeah, I’m stupid, just like the next girl.

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18 Responses to “I’m Just as Stupid as the Next Girl”

  1. Jane Moneypenny January 27, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

    Oh, I’m SO relieved. I just went on a date last night and did the same thing even though I’m more than sure this won’t be THE guy. And he was hot and we had great convo but I don’t think he’s interested, so all that deluded thinking is dead.

    Why do girls do this? I thought I was going crazy. Maybe since we all do it, it doesn’t make us crazy?

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

      No. We’re still crazy.

      P.S. I just broke off my faux engagement with this dude. Just realized he’s 2 inches shorter than I am. Dating fail.

  2. Teri January 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

    I think all girls think this way.

  3. My Dating Hangovers January 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm #

    What’s funny about this is the first part – “have to buy a new outfit”. Why do we do that? Why, why, why?

    If it is the first date and first time meeting, what guy is going to know if our top was matched with a pair of jeans from a year ago vs youre latest find at Macy’s?

    Still, I do the same thing and may even spring for a new pair of shoes as we’ll.

    The planning? Hoping things work out? Well… The hopeful creature inside wants things to go we’ll but obviously the logical or more practical little booger in our mind says “Girl please, he will end up like all the rest”.

    Good luck and let’s hope the booger is wrong!

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

      I will def keep you posted! And I too have gone out to buy new shoes for a date. Oh the things we do! -CS

  4. Lisa Krajcik January 27, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    In a way you are just working out the logistics of dating this dude. Answering these questions just helps you figure out if he is going to be worth the effort. You are a forward thinking kind of gal. It may sound crazy..and yes you are a little, but that’s okay Chickie! Consider it a weeding out process…

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

      But I think sometimes we weed them out before we even give them a chance. Me not know. -CS

  5. AmericanBridget January 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm #

    I did this with a guy I met this summer, who when I first met him in person I could have sworn was flaming gay. Even after our first date and me thinking he was gayer than Ross Mathews, I still was planning our lives for the next few months together. Once I realized I was doing this, I immediately stopped myself, put me in time out and began to sob into a bucket of fro yo. Made it all better.

    Let’s hope your date tomorrow night is with a straight dude.

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

      I love gay men. But not enough to date them.

      Good luck with your date! -CS

  6. Chicago-Style Girl January 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

    Thinking “what if” is a safe past-time of women. We can’t help it if we’re biologically wired to have a plan for the future.
    You could be way worse. You could be taping his picture to all the photos from your hope chest. You could be seeing what your children would look like on some website. You could be trying to insert him into your already fully planned wedding.
    But you’re not. You’re only having thoughts that you won’t be sharing with him and that you’ll happily let go if there is nothing between you.
    And what’s so wrong with thinking about the logic of who would move? As long as you don’t share this with him, of course.

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm #

      Too advanced thinking. I think that’s why we get so disappointed, because we start filling in blanks with these dudes, then it doesn’t work out, and our dreams are shattered all over the floor. Again. -CS

  7. Library Cinderella January 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm #

    I think all girls are that way. Before every date I would go out to get a new outfit and sometimes shoes. Good luck!

    • phillgal January 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm #

      You’re not stupid. Just horny.

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

      Well played. Well played. -CS

    • Catherinette January 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm #

      Man, all the money we spend on bad first dates. I’m not buying anything for my date. Whole lotta nothing! -CS

  8. Ruby Wildflower January 28, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    Loving this sick! I may or may not have already mentally moved in with someone I only know via Facebook. Wish. Me. Luck.

  9. Chris January 28, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    I think new clothes and shoes for first dates are all about how we will feel about ourselves while we’re on the date, and aren’t actually for the guy. Plus, bonus – more shoes and clothes in the closet! I tell myself the planning thing is just me being organized. It’s called rationalization, and I fully embrace it.

  10. Erica January 30, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

    OMG yes we all do this! Why is that?!? Goodluck on the date, I can’t wait to read about it!

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