Things I Will Never Do

24 Jan

We all have our limits.  Some people just say no to, like having anal sex with married strangers, others say no to getting on an airplane.  Whatever, to each his or her own.

For me, I have specific no-no’s.  Here’s my list, cuz I know you totally care.

  • Anal:  I will NOT do it.  You can’t make me.  When I was dating 3D he used to try to talk me into it, mainly because I was so turned off by it.  Several times we made bets where if I had lost I would have had to put out the butt hole.  I, however, was smart and only took the bets when I knew I would win.  At 38 I’ve made it without it, I can easily make it the rest of my life without it.
  • Shopping at Wal-mart.  I have a college degree and a pretty good salary.  I don’t care how much cheaper something is at Wal-mart, you cannot make me shop there.  Just pulling into the parking lot makes me want to vomit.  Ever notice that no matter how new the Wal-mart is it always looks dirty and there’s merchandise all over the floor?  No thank you, I pass.
  • Eating oysters.  It’s like swallowing someone else’s cold loogie or a was of cold splooge.  No.
  • Dating a dude with a choker.  If he’s wearing a choker, there’s something wrong with him.  Especially as you get nearer to my age.  Name one hot dude close to 38 who wears a choker ON PURPOSE without getting paid for it.  You can’t, because such a man doesn’t exist.

Now you.  I want to know what you won’t do.  Go.

14 Responses to “Things I Will Never Do”

  1. AmericanBridget January 24, 2012 at 8:10 pm #

    I must say, I have to agree with everything on your list to a tee. I might invite myself to do a similar list and give you the props and credit back over on my blog. Your list is bril. So bril.

    • Catherinette January 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

      Please feel free to do so. 🙂 -CS

  2. marinasleeps January 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

    Ha ha … I don’t do anal either. Stuff comes out not the other way around.
    I can’t think of anything else.
    Oh I won’t DP. Uhhhh I don’t like cock that much.

    • Catherinette January 25, 2012 at 7:57 am #

      Obviously no DP if you’re not doing anal! -CS

  3. Pkitass January 25, 2012 at 2:04 am #

    No anal!
    No freebie!

  4. misshaychv2012 January 25, 2012 at 6:27 am #

    I swore I would never do anal. Then I went bat-shit crazy and did few things I promised my 18y.o. self I would never do. Do I regret it? Absolutely. What have I learnt? Don’t be going bat-shit crazy again. Sure fire way to lose your self-respect.

    So I guess thats at the top of my list. I will NOT go bat-shit crazy ever again.

    Other things I promised my 18y.o. self:
    – no sex before marriage (BAHAHAHAHA!)
    – never dye my hair (I was a bottle blonde 2009-2010)
    – The man I marry I will have known 7 years before we actually marry. (Last year I got engaged to a guy I knew 2 months. Yeah, that ended well.)

    I could go on but this isn’t my blog LOL. Good idea for a post though 🙂

    • Catherinette January 25, 2012 at 7:56 am #

      Your list totally cracked me up!! I also promised myself I wouldn’t have sex until marriage. Fail. Never been married and I’ve slept with 19 dudes. -CS

  5. Chicago-Style Girl January 25, 2012 at 10:07 am #

    This list is hilarious! I’ve always sort of prided myself on trying anything once, but there are some “anythings” I’m glad no one has ever suggested, such as:
    Eating that raw fish for sushi that could kill you if it’s sliced wrong
    Dressing entirely in one color from head to toe
    Going on a McDonald’s-only diet.

  6. fragrantelephant January 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    I hear you on anal, Catherinette. My man agrees too, which is part of the reason he’s still my man.

    Things I will also never do:

    -be friends with batshit crazy people, the ones who have no grasp of reality
    -become dependent on someone else for money
    -be an obnoxious know-it-all
    -shave my head (I have a weird-shaped noggin)

  7. jon January 25, 2012 at 1:09 pm #

    I’m glad we had this talk.

  8. M January 25, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

    Swallow. Those days are over.

  9. Chris January 28, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    No on the anal as well. I don’t even know what DP is, and therefore that’s a no too. As much as she tries to bait me, I absolutely refuse to argue with my father’s girl friend… she’s trash and that would be going down to her level, plus it makes her look bad to my dad when I don’t.


  1. Things I would tell my 18 y.o. self. « Miss Haych - January 25, 2012

    […] I follow, the lovely Miss Catherinette, posted her list of things she will never do over here. She asked what our list of no-nos were, and my comment turned into a list of “things I had […]

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