Archive | 8:30 pm

I’d like to place an order for delivery

18 Jan

How lazy do you have to be to order Burger King for delivery?  No, really.  Okay, maybe I get it for a college student who is too stoned to drive, but not for the rest of the world.  There’s only one way to describe someone who would order Burger King for delivery: stupid.

It’s amazing what we can order these days.  Food, clothing, home goods, groceries, and yes, even strippers.  It’s amazing some people bother to leave the house.  I’m talking to you, fatty who plays Call of Duty all day.  It’s no wonder we’ve gotten so fat and lazy.  We’re too busy playing on the computer, ordering shit we don’t need, and food that’s not good for us.  I can’t believe we ever lived in time when we actually had to leave the house to go out and get the stuff we needed.  Actually had to get into the car and drive five minutes to go to the store.  Or (gasp), what about the days when people had to WALK to the store??  Oh my god!

You know what you can’t get delivered?  Prince Charming.  Trust me, I’ve looked.  Man hooker?  Yes.  Prince Charming?  No.  My guess is he’s probably at home jacking off to porn and waiting for his Domino’s to deliver.

Woe is me.