Archive | 11:53 am

Cough Cough Sniffle Sniffle Cough

10 Jan

There’s a woman who sits near me at work who has the worst cough on the planet. It’s so bad my entire work station rattles when she coughs, which is every two minutes. I’m surprised there aren’t little pieces of lung all over my computer monitor.

The thought of all the germs and phlegm she’s expelling makes me royally nervous. I swear it’s like I’m living a scene out of “Outbreak” or “Contagion”. Please don’t let me end up like Gwyneth Paltrow or Kevin Spacey.

If you’re so sick it sounds like you could expel an internal organ when you cough, or you spent the bulk of your waking hours sniffling please do your coworkers a favor and stay home. I don’t want to get infected by your hantavirus.

Just the Tip Tuesday (01/10/12)

10 Jan

I should just go ahead and invest in a Puma store and dress in only Puma gear because I totally am one.  Yeah, I like to rob cradles.  SO FREAKING WHAT??  They’re of age, god damn it!  I’m not Mary Kay Letourneao here.  It’s not like I’m chasing 14 year olds, that’s just gross.  You know what?  There’s nothing wrong with knocking boots with someone who is 15 years younger than you are, assuming you’re older than 33.

So this weeks JTT goes to one of the young hotties I’d like to bang (and I mean that in a very respectful and romantic way): Joshua Bowman.

Yes, I’m probably closer in age to his parents but I don’t give a fuck.  He’s hot and his body is hot and I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers.  Animal crackers.

Look familiar?  That’s because you’ve seen him on one of the season’s hottest shows, ABC’s “Revenge”.  Doesn’t look familiar?  That’s because you, a) live under a rock, b) live in an area that doesn’t play the show.  If you haven’t been watching the show, I’m disappointed in you.  Yes the acting is a little cheesy, but the plot is strong with this one, young Jedi.  Plus he takes his shirt off.