Superbass

2 Jan

There’s some fucking douchebag parked outside my house with the bass in his car cranked up.  My whole house is shaking and it sounds like there’s a rattling in my head.  It’s so fucking terrible I actually threw off my snuggie, got up off the couch, and peered out the window in hopes he would see me glaring at him.

Living in Baltimore for 20+ years it was something I was use to.  Inevitably some asshole would pull up next to me or behind me with his stereo blaring.  For a minute or so I would have to endure the earthquakes set off by his car.  All while telling myself not to look over and send him a death stare because he’d probably take a gun out and kill me.  These are the thoughts you have when you live in the city that brought you “The Wire”.  That shit is real, yo.

I’ve never understood why someone would want to crank up a stereo so loud it made their ears bleed and their insides rattle.  I get the allure of loud music, I like it, but I don’t like it so loud it hurts me.  What’s the point?  That’s not enjoyable.  That’s just stupid.  My mom the shrink says people do it because it’s a sign of aggression and dominance.  They’re basically saying, “I can play my music as loud as I want, and I don’t care if it bothers you.”  I think it’s a sign of douche bagedness.  Frankly, you’re an asshole if you do that.  Have a little respect for the people around you, asshole.

In fact, you’re a stupid asshole.  What are you going to do in 20 years when you can’t hear anymore because you spent too much time BLARING music in your youth?  Explain that to your kids.  And what will you do when your music tastes change?  I can’t imagine you’ll be cranking up the volume when your kids are listening to the latest and greatest and you’re listening to the sweet sweet sounds of Conway Twitty.

Do yourself a favor and turn that shit down.

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2 Responses to “Superbass”

  1. My Dating Hangovers January 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

    My sentiments exactly! What’s funny is that for some reason, these retards think they’re going to gain stares like “Oooh, who’s that with all of the bass??” but instead, I give them the “You look and sound stupid!” look.

    Ego tripping is what these dudes are doing.

    And something that made you throw off the Snuggie?? Blasphemy!

  2. Chicago-Style Girl January 3, 2012 at 4:47 am #

    Thank you!! I say this all the time. Being from the hood in Chicago, I grew up listening to that crap all the time too. It’s just not right. I don’t wanna end up deaf from second hand noise pollution any more than I want to end up with cancer from second hand smoke.

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