The Biggest Douche Bag on the Planet: Part 4

21 Dec

After 18 years of being together, whore bag announces one day that she’s leaving him because she’d liked to date men her own age.  Guessing that years of hanging out with my uncle, the grandpa, and waiting on him hand and foot just wore her down.  So she left.  She just walked out and left him with nothing.  Over the years, she had convinced him to write full time, and told him she would take care of him.  The money coming in was hers.  He had nothing.  Literally, nothing.  Everything was paid for by credit cards, and he had no income.  My mother and the youngest cousin had to step in to help him.

Not long after she left he had an accident and ended up in the hospital.  For a time it looked like he wasn’t going to make it.  My mom flew down to Mexico to be by his side.  The only other people who were there were Victim #1, and her daughter.  My other cousins couldn’t be bothered.  They were too busy dining out with friends, or having manicures.  No lie.  One time my middle cousin showed up and actually had her manicurist join them in the room so she could get her nails done.  After he had been in the hospital for over a week, the youngest cousin finally showed up.  He was appalled by everything going on, and the fact that his older sisters weren’t going to help support him financially.  He actually stopped talking to them for almost a year.

When my uncle finally got out of the hospital, it was Victim #1 who nursed him back to health.  For whatever reason, she’s been in love with him all this time.  Out of the kindness of her heart, she would cook for him, do his laundry, clean his house – because he had no one else.  Not even a thank you from him.  Not one word of gratitude.  Instead he bitches to my mom about how ugly she is and how he doesn’t want to spend time with her.

Really?  Fucking REALLY?

About seven months ago he was over at Victim #1’s house for dinner.  Their daughter was there, and her 17 year old son was there as well.  The 17 year old made some comment to my uncle about how he doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does.  My uncle put down his fork and told him he was a stupid boy who knew nothing.  He went on to say he was worthless and would never make anything of himself and he didn’t love him.  The 17 year old got upset and left the table.  My uncle picked up his fork and began eating, then told Victim #1 and the daughter that the next time he came over, he didn’t want the 17 year old there.  They were stunned into silence.

When my mother heard the story, she told him he shouldn’t have said that and he was being a dick.  He told my mother she didn’t know what she was talking about, and it was his responsibility to tell the 17 year old he had no future because he was stupid.  He truly believed he had done the right thing.

It’s no wonder that at 70-something he has no one.

But wait, that’s not all!  Wait to see what he says to someone on her deathbed!

5 Responses to “The Biggest Douche Bag on the Planet: Part 4”

  1. Erica December 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    OMG your story is killing me, I cannot wait for the next excerpt!!!!!! My family is so highly dysfunctional that it actually makes me feel better reading this to know I’m truly not alone.

  2. Tony Alva December 21, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

    Frequent and long time reader, infrequent commentor… I am completely riveted to this saga. Great job. Don’t wait too long to post part 5!

  3. WendyB December 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

    I’m dumbfounded! Hurry up with the next segment!

  4. Lee Reilly December 21, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    This is fascinating! It’s like a soap opera on Telemundo!

  5. skylers dad December 21, 2011 at 11:49 pm #

    This is really a great story, I have been amazed!

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