My Pee-filled Adventures with the Pie Girl

17 Dec

Ah. New York City. Times are shitty. But I’m pretty sure they can’t get worse. It’s a comfort to know when you’re singing the hit the road blues that anywhere you could possibly go after New York would be a pleasure cruise.

No. Wait. Sorry. Those are lyrics from the musical Rent. Sorry, my bad.

Where was I? Right. New York. Good times! There’s something to be said about the adventures that two single ladies can have in the Big Apple. Some end up finding the men of their dreams. Others end up having their handbags stolen. Some end up roofied and wondering why they wake up with their panties down around their ankles, their eyebrows shaved off, and a tattoo of Tone Loc on their right hip. Our adventures, were nothing like this.

As fate would have it the lovely WV Pie Girl (Sarah, but I’m not referring to her by her real name because what fun would that be?) end up in NYC on Friday night. PG (for Pie Girl and much more exciting than Sarah, and funny because she’s actually rated R, not PG) and I have been Twitter besties for a long time now. We were both wicked super psyched to FINALLY have the chance to get together and do what we do best: get drunk and mock people. People, it was everything I imagined and so much more. The only thing that sucked about the night was that we didn’t have enough time together to mock the 50+ year old woman in her sparkly gown and her frumpy ass hair. Oh. And the fact that it took over an hour to get our food so they had to pack it because I had to catch the train. Bonus? Free round of drinks. Oh. But then PG left her food in the cab. BUT she did steal the pepper shaker from the table so she can add that to the collection.

Oh. And I dropped my phone in the toilet…after I had peed and then I had to stick my hand in the pee water to get my phone. But it still works. And I’m pretending that it’s totally clean now because as PG put it, “pee is sterile.”

Hopefully next time we get together we’ll have more time, more drinks, and less pee covered phones. On the bright side, it certainly makes for a memorable time! After all, how often can you say that your first time getting together with a friend involves stealing Tom Colicchio’s pepper shakers and a golden shower for your phone…


3 Responses to “My Pee-filled Adventures with the Pie Girl”

  1. Jennifer December 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    Ah…sounds like a night I had with Sarah (er…PG) back in high school. But, it wasn’t Tom Colicchio’s pepper shaker we were holding. That would be a story for another day.

  2. myonepreciouslife December 18, 2011 at 3:08 am #

    Back up please. How did your night arrive at seeing, let alone mocking, some lady’s ass hair?

  3. The T December 19, 2011 at 6:20 am #



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