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A Christmas Card from Catherinette

12 Dec

The season is upon us!  That time of year when we receive pictures of our friends with their children, each card carrying a message like, “Wishing you the best this holiday season” or “May your holiday wishes come true.”  Gag.  It’s the time of year when you walk into a friend’s house and you see the display of all of the cards they’ve received.  The cards representing how popular they are.  Gag.  I have a confession to make: I’m a cold bitch.  I don’t have such displays in my house.  Yes, I’m popular, and I get the cards, but I display them in a different place – the garbage can.  As soon as I’ve looked at the picture, read the message, those bad boys go straight to the trash.  I know, I know, yet another reason I’ll get coal in my stocking.  Whatever.

There is one thing I do get a kick out of, when my friends include those awkward holiday letters in the envelope.  God, I love those.  Talk about awkward!  Either it’s someone bragging about how amazing her year was; bitching about how much it sucked; offering mundane details; or so full of spelling errors I want to whip out a red pen, circle all the offenses, and send it right back.  I’ve often toyed with sending a christmas card to my friends.  A picture of me on Santa’s lap along with a card summarizing my year.  But when it occurs to me the cost of stamps would be the equivalent to the cost of a cocktail, I change my mind.

BUT, I’ve decided to go ahead and give it a shot anyway.  So, my kind readers, here’s my Christmas letter to you.

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