Archive | 6:51 pm

Ok Cupid? More like NO-k Cupid.

6 Dec

Oh, online dating, I wish I knew how to quit you.  Why do I torture myself?  WHY?  Jesus christ you’d think by now I would have learned my lesson.  But nooooooo!  I go right back at it.  It’s kind of like a fly that keeps flying at the window – you know it’s never going to make it, and the damn thing just keeps doing it.  Stupid fly.  Stupid me.

It’s true I haven’t been on a real date since last year when I swore off all men after a particularly lame date.  BUT I did go ahead and keep a profile up on a dating site.  Why not?  If Prince Charming is out there web surfing, who am I to deny him the joy of my online dating profile?  That would just be rude.  I did it for him.  Too bad he’s too busy sexing some slut instead of looking for me.  What the hell is that about?

Meanwhile, this is the crap I’ve been dealing with.  Here are the messages I received today.  TODAY.  That is today.  Not in the last three weeks, or the last four months.  Today.  This day.  This one.

  • Hi. Your pics are so hot. Do u model?
  • Hello – Please don’t be offended by message. It is not to meant to cast any dispersions on anyone or make any judgements about anyone. For a long time I have thought it would be nice to have a discreet friendship with a younger lady. If this situation seems at all appealing to you then please check out my profile and get back to me. I will make a great friend.
  • i`d love to slide my nice cock between those perfect titties [one of my all time favorites]
  • You really sound pretty amazing.Since I think it’s a little hard to get a conversation started on here just from a profile here’s a little conversation starter/ice breaker: If you had to choose would you wear dirty underwear or dirty socks?

And this, my friends, is why I will begin looking into filling my house with cats and I will stop shaving my legs.