Bring in the Big Guns

16 Nov

There is something wrong with me.  Seriously wrong with.  I know what you’re all thinking, “We know, we know, you’re totally wrong in so many ways.”  You’ll never guess what I did today.  NEVER GUESS!!  No, I didn’t make out with a 27 year old hotty who has a girlfriend in the elevator.  Nor did I jump into someone’s Mustang and proceed to face rape him in the front seat of his car.  It doesn’t even have anything to do with purposely wearing a low cut blouse when I knew I was going to have a meeting with one of my work secret boyfriends.

Oh, no.  No, no.

Today I took a page out of the Cougar Handbook and full on molested my secret boyfriend.  Not molested like there were tears or he was going to feel dirty or if anyone saw it they’d report me.  Not THAT bad.  Though that would have been awesome to because as I suspected, his body is TIGHT.

Dreamy Blue Eyes and I have been working on a project together for about eight months.  Yes, it’s true, the only reason I offered to work on the project is because I knew he was working on it.  This has all worked out in my favor because I’m the one he calls when he needs help, or he needs to be talked off the ledge, etc.  A few weeks ago we went into Philadelphia for a meeting.  I drove, he sat in the front seat with me, and there were two people in the back.  Not sure what we were talking about, but the project manager in the back commented that she felt she was watching an episode of “Friends” just based on the exchange we were having.

Blah blah blah.

Anyway, he was on the verge of a major meltdown today so he called me and asked me to help him work through something.  Of course, I said yes.  Thankfully I was looking pretty hot today, all down to the black pencil skirt and heels.  If only my top had been lower cut.  Oh well.  Just as I showed up at his desk a cock blocker came to interrupt our conversation – or so I thought.  Turns out I couldn’t have asked for a better interruption.  The cock blocker was talking about the project and I could see Dreamy Blue Eyes on the verge of freaking out.  So I did what any soon-to-be-Cougar would do.

I pounced.

I leaned forward, grabbed Dreamy Blue Eye’s arm (with both hands), and told cock blocker he was going to make Dreamy Blue Eyes cry and we needed to work some stuff out.  People.  People of the blogosphere.  PEOPLE!  Holy fuck his arm was AMAZING.  I could feel every single muscle underneath his sleeve.  Hot.  Cut.  He clearly has a smoking hot body trapped underneath his clothes.  Unreal.

Unforch, I won’t be the one to peel off that shirt and give him chest to chest rub down I dream of.  That is left to his wife.  His stupid, petite, wicked cute, and smart wife.  I hate her.

But I love him.

In related news, I need to get laid.

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One Response to “Bring in the Big Guns”

  1. mo November 17, 2011 at 1:44 pm #

    Darn… thought this was going to go like a romance novel. Better luck next time. Hope he goes home, the wife announces she filed for divorce and is leaving him for someone else and he runs to you…..

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