Traffic Bites

16 Jul

This morning finds me dragging in Mystic, CT.  I had to share a bed my Lucy(fer), who-at 4-kicks a lot.  It came to me in the middle of the night that if I put some pillows between us she’ll kick the pillows and not me.  Success!  Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her from hogging the blankets.  At about 3:15 this morning I thought about pushing her out of bed.  Is that wrong?  My guess is I got about three hours of sleep.  And we still have a few hours to go before we land in Martha’s Vineyard.

Without traffic, Mystic is about four hours away.  With the traffic we hit yesterday, it took us ten fucking hours to get here.  Do you have any idea what it’s like to be trapped in a car with a six and four year old in a traffic jam?  Imagine having the first layer of skin pulled off of your eyeball and then having a gallon of lemon juice poured into it while you’re being anally fisted AND kicked in the groin at the same time.  Only worse.

I can only imagine what the car trip the rest of the way will be like.

God help us all.

2 Responses to “Traffic Bites”

  1. AmericanBridget at 12:47 pm #

    Piss-my-pants funny. And, I’m sorry. I don’t do car trips (or try not to), but damn with children. Slay me now.

    Good luck, but at least you are getting away to MV. Pick me up some Vineyard Vines shirts!

  2. Pkitass at 3:08 pm #

    Ha ha ha ha! Have fun at MV don’t forget to eat lots.

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