Naughty No-No’s

22 Jun

We’re four days into my watching Damien and Lucy(fer) and I’ve already become one of those mommy bloggers.  I’m not even a mother for Lord’s sake!!

First, the update on the BIL: he’s doing much better.  Looks like he’ll be home in the next few days.

Second, my niece is going to be a hooker when she grows up.  She has this thing about showing where naughty bits when she’s in the bath.  I’m talking throwing her legs wide open.  If she were 18, Penthouse would be thrilled to have her.  But she’s 4 and this is going to leave me with scars for the rest of my life.  It’s horrifying.  HORRIFYING!

During bath time today and on Monday she was starting to get really intimate with the water running out of the faucet.  I asked her what she was doing, and she told me she was cleaning her “cha china”.  Look, I’m a chick.  I know what water from the faucet can do for you.  In fact, all women know.  And if they say they don’t, they are lying through their teeth.

I remember my grandmother yelling at me when I was little to keep my hands on top of the covers.  I can’t believe I ever did anything like this, but I must have if she was yelling that shit at me.  Now I’m the one sternly reminding her that her private parts are for private time only, and that she shouldn’t be showing them to the free world.  I draw the line at informing her that if someone wants to see them, they should buy you a drink or two first.

God freaking save me.

4 Responses to “Naughty No-No’s”

  1. StabbyCerberus June 22, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    Oh, it’s just WRONG to talk about that. It’s supposed to be a secret.

  2. Clicking Frogs June 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    Running water is a beautiful thing.

  3. Pkitass June 23, 2011 at 2:41 am #

    Good to hear that your BIL is doing well.

  4. auishtha July 5, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    LOL kids.

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