Archive | 8:19 pm

Squirt Squirt

8 Apr

“It’s an ego boost for any guy if he makes a girl squirt,” declared my friend, Biggie, over dinner on Wednesday night.  We were drinking our cocktails and tearing into our steak at a fancy restaurant when the conversation – as it typically does – turned to inappropriate subjects.  This dude is fucking hilarious.  He’s the same one who made the comment about things he’s learned from porn.  Zero filter, I mean none.  God only knows how we got talking about squirting but he proceeded to tell me how he had been fortunate enough to be with two girls who squirted.

It reminded me of a conversation I had a few months back with Folgers.  He mentioned he had been with one girl who did it one time.  I told him he should pat himself on the back and high five himself for that as not every girl squirted AND if he could make some girl do that who didn’t usually, then he was the man.

A few days after the first conversation I started asking my girlfriends about it.  It’s kind of a taboo subject for some reason – I don’t know any chicks who have fessed up to being able to do it.  Some of my friends thought it would be awesome if they could do it, others said they’d be mortified, and then there was Foxy.  She was too wrapped up in what would happen to the bedding and how the comforter would have to be taken to the laundromat to consider the potential magic.

We discussed whether/not we would tell the dude we were with if we could squirt.  Some of us said yes because we figured it would make the dudes work a little harder.  Some said no because they thought the dude would feel bad if he couldn’t make it happen.

Supposedly any chick can do it if she’s rubbed the right way, so to speak.  Look, I’m going to be honest with you, I have tried.  Several years ago I took a class on it and was all prepared to run home and unleash my inner gusher.  Yeah, no such luck.  Apparently, I need someone to spot me or something.  Just couldn’t make it happen for myself.  I’m of the mindset that if I could do it, I would totally tell the dude I was with because I’m sure he would think it was awesome.  Come on!  Who wouldn’t??  What dude wouldn’t feel all manly if he could make a girl do that??

So, fine readers, I ask you: squirting – hot or not?