Archive | 8:00 pm

Not so Hot Yoga

7 Apr

Sunday I declared I was sick of my fatness and was making a change.  So far so good.  Managed to make it to the gym twice this week and eat well most of the week – minus yesterday when I hit up Capital Grille for Mainline Restaurant Week.  Mmm…steak, mashed potatoes, lobster mac n cheese, creamed spinach, cake, and two cocktails.  Damn it!  I think I basically fucked up my entire week by pigging out yesterday.


Since I moved here almost a year ago I’ve been trying to find a yoga studio.  The yoga classes at my gym blow ass.  One class was so bad that at about 15 minutes in I said, “fuck this” and rolled out.  Don’t think that was very relaxing for the rest of the people in the class.  Fuck them, who cares.  The other class I went to was so crowded we all started bumping into one another.  Trust me, the last thing you want to do in yoga is bend over and find your face buried in some sweaty guy’s crack.  Not my idea of a good class.  Pass.  Totally pass.

You can imagine my delight when I moved into my new neighborhood and found there was a yoga studio within walking distance.  Yeah!  Tonight I went for my first…and possibly last class.  I rolled in, handed them the payment for the class, and that’s when the dude announced, “We keep our studios between 88-90 degrees.”  [insert sound of scratching record here] Say what?  This is hot yoga??  Nowhere on the website was there any mention of a hot studio.  Here’s the thing, I hate sweating with a fiery passion.  There is little in this world that makes me feel as uncomfortable as sweating – with the possible exception of hearing someone complain about their regularity.

“Fine,” I think to myself, “I can suck it up and deal with it and give it a try.”  So I did.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to balance yourself on one foot while you sweat all over your mat?  Plus the dude in front of me was so sweaty he was dripping down his own legs.  It was absolutely disgusting, but I couldn’t look away.  I just kept staring at his hairy ass legs all drenched in sweat.  Ugh.  Gross.  My eyes.

But I made it through!  I made it through, I now smell like corn chips, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.

Yeah!  Good times!