Hanging with My Muffin Top

3 Apr

It’s a sad state of affairs when one gets excited to find their fat pants…and they fit like a glove.

What the hell has happened to me? Just a year ago, I was cruising around in my size 10 pants with my yoga toned body making smart choices about what I was going to eat (notice I didn’t say WHO I was going to eat). Just 12 short months later I’m sitting my fat ass on the couch in my size 14 jeans, my body hasn’t touched a yoga mat in over 6 months, I haven’t seen the inside of the gym since early February, and I inhaled a hot dog with fries for lunch?

How the hell did it all happen so quickly? When did I get so damn lazy that the thought of heading to the gym became equivalent to the thought of taking a kick to the crotch? It’s not that bad. In fact, I even kind of liked going when I actually went. Yet I seem to have forgotten all of that and so now I’ve ballooned up to the size of a baby whale. Worst part is that as the warm weather approaches I’m going to have to start shedding the layers of protection my clothes provide. There is nothing worse than seeing someone’s dimpled thighs in a pair of shorts, especially if they’re your own dimpled thighs.

And the thought of someone seeing me naked right now? Ugh! Fucking UGH!! Jesus, I can just imagine their sad face when they realize how squishy my body actually is.

So for the sake of the general public and my own sanity, I’m getting back on the wagon. No more expanding muffin top. No more buying lunch 100 times a week and only eating fried food. Starting this afternoon, I’m getting my fat ass back in gear.

What’s it look like? To start, I’m going to the gym at least twice a week, I have to eat all my fruits and veggies for the day, AND I have to have at least 6 glasses of stupid ass water. We’ll see how the first week goes, and then I’ll make adjustments.

Please feel free to send me motivational messages to make sure I’m getting my chunky thighs and fat rolls to the gym…


18 Responses to “Hanging with My Muffin Top”

  1. Pkitass April 3, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    You go girl! Keep us updated. I also just started to workout again. Take it I’m doing it for completely different reason. I want to run in next years marathon. But if I can lose weight also then well it’s a double win.

    • Catherinette April 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

      Check you out with your goal to run a marathon! That’s awesome!

  2. Clicking Frogs April 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    Tell yourself you’ll only go to the gym for ten minutes. You will always stay longer once you get there. Also change into workout clothes at work. Then drink a couple glasses of wine after you get home. Really. You will eat less and science agrees you’ll lose weight (I would linky but can’t work it mid-comment on my mobile) plus you get wine. I believe red zin is lowest in calories and highest in alcohol.

    • Catherinette April 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

      I like this idea of yours to have wine instead of dinner. That’s something I can definitely get behind!

  3. YoFabulous April 3, 2011 at 6:41 pm #

    OMG, I think you’ve been reading my mind! Scary, I just had the same conversation with myself after I reluctantly pulled my sized 14 jeans out of the back of the closet – and they fit. I’ve committed to getting back on the wagon, because when I go shopping, it won’t be to buy bigger clothes! I wish you nothing but success. We’ll all be encouraging you (and each other).

    • Catherinette April 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

      Oh, goody! I’m going to start harassing you if you don’t start working out. And please feel free to tell me I’m a fat ass…

  4. Cat April 3, 2011 at 9:32 pm #

    I don’t even know you but I know you can do it! Joining a gym has been a great thing for me especially taking the classes, its not a no brainer. I go straight after work two days and on the weekends. The hardest part for me is eating right. I’d rather drink wine than water and eat popeyes fried chicken over a salad. But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

    • Catherinette April 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

      Thanks, Cat!

      Here’s the thing, I belong to a gym. A really nice looking gym with some super hot dudes. The problem is I can’t be bothered to drag my ass to actually get on the uber awesome elliptical. I’m too busy planning what snack I’m going to eat.

  5. maria April 3, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

    Thank You so much for this Im right there with you . My size 12’s are getting way tight and I really want back in my size 10’s its so easy for me to get lazy and eat cookies n junk food rather than workout out but hey that wine idea is good =)

  6. MyDatingHangovers April 4, 2011 at 1:14 am #

    I know this wasn’t meant to be a LOL moment but this is hilarious. As I took my room from neat and tidy to a area 51 disaster sight trying to find something for date night Saturday, I feel you!!

    Just made the same declaration and feel like I need to shed some pounds like yesterday. Still, I keep thinking the weight comes back so quickly but takes its sweet time going away.

    Here’s to no muffin top hanging over!

  7. Tracy April 4, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    Was it really a few years ago when we all did the anti-muffin top competition? I lost almost 10lbs during that adventure. Now, I have a great boyfriend and unfortunately I am a bit happy and fat now. 😦 Maybe it’s time for another muffin top support group.

    Regardless, you are going to make your fat pants a stranger again!

  8. inidna April 4, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    I am SO one with you on this. It’s devastating — especially when you live in an Asian country where everyone is TINY. I feel like an amazon woman and it sucks massive balls when you feel like that and aren’t particularly great (or even good) looking with an amazing body. Story of my life. FML. After squeezing into clothes that were bought for me at one of the only places where I can find something in my size here, I’m more determined than ever to say bye to these Muffin Top babies and say hello to my Size 10s! Booya!

  9. Melanie April 4, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    Yeah, I was like that. I went up to a size 10 (I’, 5′ 3 3/4″ tall) YES, I need the 3/4 of an inch (that’s what she said). Anyway. I was just about to do the hole eat right and go to the gym ordeal then my cheating, lying husband left. Lost 26 pounds in 2.5 months. NOT healthy for sure but I’m keeping it off by eating right and staying active. I tell people now that I lost 250 pounds. 224 for him and 26 for me.

    You can do it G. Ooops. C. Dedication. Once you start getting back to feeling great about working out etc then it will just happen before you know it.


  10. Emily April 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    I’ve been there! Size 14 was my biggest size. When those started getting tight (and I hated looking in the mirror or shopping for clothes at that size), I knew I had to make changes.

    Do you watch the Biggest Loser? I find it inspiring. And I usually watch it and do some sit-ups or push-ups or arm weights. It’s hard to watch people working so hard with your ass on the couch.

    I also found that signing up for an event (for me, it’s a sprint triathlon) keeps me motivated. I do at least one every year now, because I know I need to build up stamina and that keeps me working out.

    You can do it!

  11. Jen @ SheBloggs April 4, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    You read my mind!! I took out my ‘fat jeans’ this morning and even THEY no longer fit. They were too big last March.

    Now if I could only motivate myself to go to the gym 3 times a week.

  12. DontBmistaken April 6, 2011 at 1:29 am #

    OMG. I sooo feel you on that. I’m going through the exact same thing. I finally gave up and hired a trainer. Expensive ass lesson but hopefully I’ll see my crotch by the summer.

  13. Desiree April 6, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Girl I feel you. The hardest part is the first step but once you start you’ll get the endorphines going and LOVE IT. Then you’ll just wanna keep going. I find what helps is going with a friend. Have a workout buddy that can help motivate you and you can help motivate them. Plus you have someone to talk to about the hotties at the gym!

  14. amanalynn April 8, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Definitely agree with Desiree. I have found it so much easier when you have a workout buddy.
    Also, I just joined a bootcamp, that’s also a good way to motivate yourself. The bootcamp requires us to write down everything we eat and keep track of the carbs, cheats, water, veggies etc… People who write down their food intake are 65% more successful at weight loss and shed double the weight than those who do not. So, if you don’t want to join a bootcamp, maybe just keep track of everything you eat and your work outs.

    Good Luck!!

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