The “Joys” of Moving

15 Feb

I bought my house just a month shy of my 30th birthday.  At the time I had gotten back together with Mr. Big X and had dreams of it being our starter home.  That’s where I would live when I got married, my husband would move in, we’d do some work to the house, and then we’d have kids.  In a four bedroom, two bath house, with a HUGE yard, there would be plenty of room for a little family.

Um, yeah, so that didn’t quite work out like I planned.

I go home to Baltimore pretty frequently and make attempts at packing.  Usually this means I pack a box (that’s what she said) before I give up and decide going out to spend money on drinks with my friends is a far better idea.  It’s been over nine months since I moved out of the house and I still haven’t put it on the market.  Finally, I have a new place in Pennsylvania and the time has come to say goodbye to my first little house.  Easier said then done.  Packing a house and preparing to get it on the market makes me want to slit my wrists with a very dull blade.  It is sheer torture.  Kind of like listening to someone tell me about their kids dirty diapers. Painful.

I’m in the middle of moving hell.  I moved into my new place a few days ago and have two chairs, a table, an air mattress and one billion boxes scattered around.  Meanwhile, back home I have even more boxes and another zillion things that need to be packed.  Last night I attempted to do some unpacking.  I managed to get through half a box before giving it up and going to my room to take a little nap.

Here’s the problem.  My air mattress has a bit of a leak.  On the first night it seemed fine, until I woke up about three hours later feeling like I was laying in the middle of a giant rubber taco shell with my feet in the air.  Slow leaks suck.  I took it back, got another one.  This one isn’t quite as bad, but I wake up smelling like a rubber band.  Not good.  Especially when I’m trying to seduce the waitstaff at the local bar.  Who the hell wants to date a girl with no furniture who smells like a rubber band?

Looks like the peen counter is going to be staying as is for a little while longer…



8 Responses to “The “Joys” of Moving”

  1. Melanie February 15, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

    I bought my house a little over a year ago with my (soon to be ex husband) STBEXH. It was supposed to be all those things you said too. But he decided to leave and go back to his “first love.” SO I am going to sell the house of lies and deceit as I have so appropriately named it.

    I HATE MOVING. I hate packing. BLAH.

    Get yourself in gear lady.

    • Catherinette February 15, 2011 at 5:24 pm #

      First, let me start by saying he is a dick and I hope he gets a raging case of Herpes.

      Second, I’d like to congratulate you for being free of a soon-to-be-Herpes-infested asshole. Congrats!

      Third, we should just email each other all the time instead of packing…

  2. Pkitass February 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Congrats on your new house. Now go to your local Home Depot and get some hired help from the corner (day laborers)

  3. McSnuggles February 16, 2011 at 2:50 am #

    I would LOVE to come out an help you unpack/set up your new place! What do you think? I promise I can make it fun, and we can take frequent cocktail brakes lol

    • Catherinette February 16, 2011 at 8:21 am #

      Yes, yes, YES!! It would be AWESOME!! We can even walk to the bars, take the train into Philly, or even into NYC!

      YES! And also now.

  4. AmyBlam February 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    We are contemplating moving, and we NEED to. But it’s so hard, I can’t imagine packing up everything. My shoes alone would fill a large suv.
    I love baltimore, we were up there last weekend!

  5. jon February 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm #

    Generally speaking waitstaff go absolutely f’en bonkers for girls tangled in giant rubber taco shells with their feet in the air.

  6. ShoeGal February 18, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    Maybe if you just leave everything you can get more for the house!

    Or you can pay someone to pack for you.

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