I love VD

14 Feb

Oh Valentine’s Day, I love how you remind me I don’t have a boyfriend. As if my empty vag doesn’t mock me enough. Well fuck you, Valentin’s Day. Fuck you.

Okay, not really. You know I love you. And look, I even got flowers AND candy today. A flower and a lollipop to be exact. And sure the flower was from my boss and the candy was from my work husband. But I got a little something-something.

Sure, I’d love to tell the world I got laid twice today and came three times. I’d also like granite counter tops and a bigger bathroom. And I’d like the government not to cut funding for public radio. While I’m at it I’d also like a firmer ass and better boobs.

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5 Responses to “I love VD”

  1. jon February 14, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    Just a mater of time till Home Depot figures out how to get the message out to guys that getting lucky on VD might be as simple as buying her stone countertops and plumbing supplies.

  2. inidna February 14, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

    Amen.

  3. Jersey Belle February 14, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    I’d rather have the granite countertops.

  4. Hookdntx February 15, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    As long as we are wishing for things on valentine’s day, Can I have a dishwasher and a washer and dryer?

  5. Leyna Juliet Weber February 15, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    thanks to Somer Cooper, I’ve discovered your hilarious blog!

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