What a Bloody Nightmare

31 Jan

I was a little bit of a late bloomer.  I was 14 years old when I got my first period.  I was 17 when I had my first kiss.  And 17 when I gave my first hand job.  And first had sex.  But I was a whopping 19 when I gave my first blowie.  See?  Late bloomer!  But this isn’t a post about blowies, wristies, motor boating, or any of that.  Instead, it’s about how I, as a chick. can time like period like clockwork.

I typically can clock it to within 2 hours of when it will start.  That’s pretty amazing if you think about it.  There are some chicks who have really irregular periods, not I.  Like.  Clock.  Work.

So, I ask you, why did I not pay attention that today was my big day?  I mean, I knew it was coming, and then I forgot.  So you know what happened??  Yeah, I think you know what happened!  All over my God damn pajama pants.  My clean pajama pants.  God damn it!  At least I didn’t get it all over the fucking couch.

No, if you’ll excuse me, I have a perfectly good reason for why I need to finish off all the damn Poppycock in the house.

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