All I Want for Christmas is for My Ass to Be Smaller

20 Dec

Christ almighty I need to freaking stop eating everything in sight!  Why on earth do we use the holidays as an excuse to pour ourselves into our loosest sweatpants and eat every peppermint flavored treat in front of us?  It’s just not right.  Add in the fact I haven’t hit the gym since November and it’s no wonder the zipper on my jeans is straining.

And yet I had no trouble buying a bunch of Peppermint Bark from my favorite cafe in Baltimore, Stone Mill Bakery.  I convinced myself it was going to be for everyone at my mom’s house at Christmas Eve.  That worked until about an hour ago when I popped open the box and inhaled three pieces.  Thank freaking God I’m not in a relationship right now, I’d be far too embarrassed with my body right now to actually have sex.  Plus I think when I sweat I smell like peppermint now.

Ugh, I have to stop.

What treats send you over the edge this time of year?


8 Responses to “All I Want for Christmas is for My Ass to Be Smaller”

  1. Sarah December 20, 2010 at 10:39 pm #

    Seven layer bars and cheese trays and full fat dill dip (which is ok cause of the veggies) and mashed potatoes and champagne and bloody marys and wine and bourbon and martinis and pie.

  2. Traci December 21, 2010 at 12:05 am #

    White chocolate covered chex mix stuff – fondly referred to as Xmas crack to those familiar with it’s powers. I agree w/ Sarah’s mashed potatoes – ours are whipped w/ cream cheese, sour cream & butter and baked. Hmmm, I should actually be fatter.

    • Sarah December 21, 2010 at 9:30 am #

      Can I get that recipe? LOL email it to me! I heart anything with the word “crack” in it.

  3. trininista December 21, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Chocolate covered marshmallows. My sinful pleasure.

  4. Del-V December 21, 2010 at 10:39 am #

    Berger’s Cookies and pie. Plus all the booze. I swear I’m going on a low-sugar diet and smoking meth this January to cut the extra pounds.

  5. Hookdntx December 21, 2010 at 10:44 am #

    Sugar cookies with buttercream frosting, tamales, “crack”, Goat Cheese spread with bacon, and Alcohol

  6. kristina December 21, 2010 at 4:29 pm #

    Almond Roca, peanut brittle (well-made stuff, not the break-your-teeth crap), chocolate truffles, spinach dip, crab and artichoke dip, rum balls (no relation to “schweaty”), shortbread, homemade “bits and bites”, rum and eggnog… oh the list goes on…

  7. rubywildflower December 27, 2010 at 5:56 am #

    Oh dear. For some reason I feel the need to gorge on ham and prawns around Xmas time (Aussie tradition). However, this is quite perturbing as a vegetarian….

    Bring on detox January!

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