Ladies and germs, today is a very special, magical, and festive day. Yes, it’s JTT, but it’s a very special JTT: this is JTT the birthday edition. That’s right, my people, today is my birthday. I’ll pause now to let you go ahead and wish me a peen filled birthday, go ahead. I’ll wait…
THANK YOU! I’m touched, I really am. Sadly, Vangelina Jolie is not touched, and yet she would like to be.
I spent quite some time trying to figure out who I would select for the ultimate JTT edition, and thanks to God knows who, I came up with the best pick in the world. This pick, in fact, has two hot and manly studs. Two studs, that given the chance, I don’t think I could pick between. It’s like saying, would you like me to give you a 10 carat diamond or a 10 carat diamond. How do you choose?
When I look at the two next to each other the only thing I can think of is DP (look it up in Urban Dictionary). Oh, Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds, why are you not in my bed right now?
Is it that much to ask for? All I want is both of them naked in my bed. They don’t even have to do it at the same time. I just want them. Sadly, I already blew out the candles on my cake.
Or should I say “cakes”? I’ve had five pieces of cake in the last four days. I need to get bigger god damned pants.